Of all the rituals I’ve ever practiced with someone I’ve been dating, the “Best & Worst” has always been my favorite. In case you’re confused, it’s a really simple concept. I generally play with both parties telling each other the absolute worst part of their day. Once that’s off the table, we end with the best part of our day. The combination seems to mean a much tighter bond by the time we drift off to bed.

The period between the point when your head hits the pillow and the moment sleep takes you can be magical for those in love. It’s the time when your body begins to relax and unwind. It knows rest is near and you can feel free to really reflect on your day. The intimacy level is also at it’s highest at that time. Talking about it over dinner or while you’re watching TV just isn’t the same thing. You can’t connect as well if you’re not totally in the moment. Bedtime is the best time to share thoughts on the day that has passed.

“Sharing the best that you’re experiencing in life with someone you love is about as good as life gets.”

Discussing the worst that your day has brought to the table helps share the burden. It’s almost therapeutic in a way. You really need to commit to the ritual - to really explore the best or worst of your day so you really get the full effect. Stating that the worst part of your day was when your boss tore a strip off you won’t really be enough. Go deeper. Tell your partner how and why you felt a certain way and maybe even what you did about it or what you will do to avoid it in the future. The more committed you are to exploring the worst point in your day, the higher your highs will seem.

Ending with the shining moments of your day is always recommended. These are the moments that really stand out and they’ll be doubly impressive when they follow the down side. Often you’ll find that your best moments might be the simple things that you share with that someone special. It could be a kiss before work, seeing their face at the train station when they pick you up or the hug they gave you when you walked in the door. The shining spot in your could day might even be that very moment as you chat together before bed. Sharing the best that you’re experiencing in life with someone you love is about as good as it gets.

The best and worst of your day is a simple ritual to practice. There are no winners or losers during this exercise and it will bring you closer together as a couple. Enjoy the time you spend with each other. Every moment counts. Sharing the special moments that really define your day will undoubtedly strengthen your bond and you might find yourself enjoying those few moments before sleep even more.