Articles : [ Cupid's Romance Article Archive ]


Control Freaks



By: Jenn Malko

Control FreaksIf you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship where everything you do is wrong, just relax! It probably has very little to do with you. You might have just hooked yourself up with a control freak. This is a problem that can be solved – for you, at least. The first thing you need to do is figure out if that’s exactly the problem you’re dealing with.

Control freaks have the market cornered on domination. Some cases can be mild while others severe. Whatever the case, there are some telling signs to consider. Does your partner insist on driving at all times? Do they dominate conversations and belittle your opinions? Do they always know what’s best for you and the people around them? Are they always checking up on your to ensure you’re doing things right? Must they always have the dominant position between the sheets? These can be some telling signs that you have a control freak on your hands.

"Control freaks don’t make great partners, but a reformed freak could be just the romance your life needs!"

What you do with this knowledge is up to you. One question that you must ask is whether or not you’d be happy in the relationship if his or her behavior patterns were to change. If the answer is no, you think you think the relationship is ruined, you know what you have to do. The one thing I will say is that it is possible through work to bring a relationship back from the dead and it is possible to make it strong again. Make sure you really consider that before pulling the plug on what otherwise could be a good thing. If you still think no, then you’re in the right place! We have rated and ranked he best and worst dating sites on the Net so you can start your search for your next romance with us. If you think that your relationship is workable, that you can make a great life out of your relationship if things were to change, then you have to table the discussion. This might not always be easy when you’re in a relationship with someone who monopolizes conversation, but it must be done.

Control freaks need support if they are to overcome their ways. You should start any conversation my reaffirming your love for them. After all, you’re about to drop a bag of hammers on their head and you want to cushion the blow as much as possible. They’re going to need your support because you’re about to tell them that they have a serious problem – one that you may not be able to live your whole life with. If it might help, get clinical explanations for control freaks from trusted resources. This can help you back up your opinion in case your control freak decides that, once again, you have no idea what you’re talking about. Explain your reasoning behind what you ask. Explain how it makes you feel. Explain that you need this change from them. It can be tough asking someone to change for you. In some cases, it might even be wrong to ask. But when people push for control they are asking to dominate your life and the lives of those around them. If you love them, you owe them your honesty and the help they’ll need to overcome their problem.

Living with a control freak for a lifetime sounds like hell upon earth. However, if you can break your relationship out of this destructive pattern, you might just see a new world open for you and your love. Control freaks don’t make great partners, but a reformed freak could be just the romance your life needs!


Tell others what you thought about this article. Please keep it civil.

Name:  
Comments:

(Max characters)
Enter the code:
 


Comments by: Darryl
I m with a 6 -1 buxom blue eyed brunette. She is the most charming woman you will ever meet until the door closes behind us at home. She has a need to be needed and it has been turned into a control issue. When things are good they are a dream come true. When they are bad (most times)it is a nightmare. We are going to counciling and it is getting better. If you can t stand up for yourself get out

Comments by: pat
I thought it was informative, I lived with one for 15 years and finally divorced as I had no sense of my own worth in this relationship. A marriage is a partnership like any other, and it cant always be one persons way all the time. It makes for bad friends and lovers.

Comments by: Robert
My Brother is tied to a control freek sorry to say I dont like to go over to his house that munch do tothe fact his wife acts like she is prem & proper makes a fool of her self Me I just dont even brother around plus she said nasty things about Me so after I found out Ive done lost all respect I keep a distance control freek,s dont not have a heart they are heartless & I wont take any crap

Comments by: kathy
you cant just ask a control freak to reform. To true control freaks, ANY remark can be taken as criticism and is cause for a fight! If your Sig. other is actually willing to listen, they probably aren t that bad. If they argue no matter how hard you try to please, take a good hard look at yourself because you may be feeding this monster by being a people pleaser. 2ndly - RUN!!!

Comments by: tina
i was with a control freak 4 5 YEARS he tried 2 control me by leaving me out of everything.he would arrange for us to go places then have no contact. then tell me he had been with somebody else. ex wife ex girlfreind e.c.t i found out he lied.he would trow himself at other women while we were out together espesialy when we were with freinds leaving me sat in embarising silence.i got control now.

Comments by: mchel
being a control freak is a narcissistic disorder, which is a personality disorder. There are NO CURES for personalities disorders, as it s been proven. you can t go back in a person s childhood and re-do the events that molded this person into a control freak. sorry to say, but if U are dating a control freak, BREAK UP, and move on to someone who was more resilient or had a normal childhood.

Comments by: lorraine
i am married to a control freak,he forbid me to see my only son and also granddaughter when she was born he got so mad at me because i was so full of joy , two months later he filed for divorced, i was sad at first but now i am happy to be free of him , he also helped me moved into my apartment and always want to talk or visit but i refused to see him i am done hope this help someone that is going

Comments by: Linda
My husband and I have been married almost 20 years. Everytime he gets mad he wants a divorce.It is driving me crazy. i never know from one month to the next what is going to set him off to want a divorce. We live in seperate cities because of his job and i dare not ask him what he is doing with his money!!!

Comments by: Sha J.
me and laura are on the same page. I am 22 and I live thousands of miles away from all my family, and I barley have friends because he controls that aspect by saying he doesnt approve of any of them, and if i do hang out he wants to control what time i go home and where we have dinner at. He controls my myspace, when I go home everything. I love him and I am going to get counseling it will work..

Comments by: traci
my ex got pissed because i was not talking to his mom when he wanted me to and then proceeded to tell me go home and put the ring on the counter. who needs that crap.. always calling the shots to when i would want to go where he was on the golf tournaments pga... nonono....