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Dating Your Neighbor

By: Jenn Malko

Dating Your NeighborFinding the love of your life isn’t supposed to be easy, so the odds of living next to them is one in . . . well, a really, really large number! If you’re here, you’ve obviously found yourself in a miraculous situation. Either that, or your new feelings for the person next door are, in part, an act of desperation. Whatever the case may be, this type of relationship needs to be approached with caution, as your close proximity could make for danger down the road.

Dating your neighbor can be an ideal situation. One of the things that most couples struggle with is finding time to be together. Your commute time to their home might be down to a matter of seconds if you live close enough, and checking to see if they’re available might just require a shout out the window. If you’re at a point where you're able to spend nights together, you can skip all that prep time packing your clothes and toiletries for the next day and head straight for the sheets. If you begin to spend enough time at each other's places, your shared interests can lead to reduced strain on your bank accounts. Imagine shopping for food, sharing gas expenses and saving on hydro costs. It would almost be as profitable as living together! Another benefit of living close by is that if you want some alone time, you’re only steps away. Dating the person next door sure looks like a good move, but is it really?

“Closure comes with distance, and seeing your ex regularly, what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with, could make things extremely difficult.”

A romance involving two lives, functioning so close to one another, will also put strain on your relationship at an early stage. As a new couple fight to spend more time together, you could find yourself in a situation where you’re suddenly spending too much of your day in each other’s company. There is such a thing as moving too fast. This is part of the danger of dating a neighbor. Some people are also very fond of their free time and operating without the watchful eyes of a boyfriend or girlfriend. That’s not to say that they are looking for love elsewhere, but you should consider how you or they might feel if you’re not on the same page. The biggest downside to this type of relationship is a break-up. For many, closure comes with distance, and seeing your ex regularly, what they’re doing and who they’re doing it with, could make things extremely difficult. With all that could go wrong, you need to take steps ahead of time to help reduce the dangers.

Talking to your neighbor before things get serious should help alleviate some of the worry. Put everything out on the table. Find out how they would feel about certain situations. Role-play with them and see if you agree on how to handle the worst you can imagine. Openness and honesty won’t save you from all the pain if your relationship with your neighbor slips down the drain, but it should give you a better idea if this is something you want to explore together.

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Comments by: Its fun at first!
But the breakup sucks. Seeing that person all the time doesn t help you to get over them. The only way I would do it again is if someone can and doesn t mind moving after the (likely) breakup. 3 months to the end of my lease and counting the days!

Comments by: sarah
dont do it!!!!! it seems like a good idea at the time- but it will bite you in the butt and someone will end up getting really hurt = (

Comments by: jinny
i like steven is nice and cute what should do?

Comments by: Elle
Don t date the neighbor.

Comments by: Love thy neighbor is a hard one God!
I used all my stregnth to have my 1st child on my own and purchase a new house when my ex left me pregnant. Met man of my dreams on only to find out he was my new neighbor directly across the street. He became like a father to my baby and our familes became close, then he broke up after 6 months. Said he loves me but does not feel we are right for each other. I thought he was Gods Plan

Comments by: Ryan
I recently gained interest in a girl who I ve known all my life and lives a few doors down. I tried finding a romantic spot with her along the river...EPIC FAIL. We recently hooked up and I really like her. I love being able to walk down to her house in a matter of seconds. Only problem is I have lax and she has soccer on the week, she is in middle school, Im HS, so we only c eachother on weekend

Comments by: hmmm
I have a neighbor, we met under interesting events, etc. I am attracted to her, and I am sure she s into me too...she s much fun, nice, enderaing, but I am simply afraid to make the leap. I m afraid it s going to end bad, and, well, close proximity, you know. In limbo on it.

Comments by: We used to think we were so Lucky
I was involved with my neighbor (on and off) for over 7 years. We were even engaged until a month ago. Part of what kept me hanging on for so long, was not being able to handle what I might see. It will never work, but here I am again with fresh wounds and a knowledge that to get over him, I will have to suck it up and take whatever I see. We both own our homes. DON T DO IT!!!

Comments by: It will get messy....
Dated my neighbour for 2 months.Was great at the start cause i was so attracted to him and we got on well...however things are always great before you really get to know a guys character or before they do something really hurtful.I wouldnt recommend it.You really have to think long term.I see him every day and its tough.

Comments by: Don t Do It
I dated my next door neighbor for a year. He was absolutely the love of my life and we had a fantastic and fun relationship filled with laughter and good times...until he couldn t see me as his wife. DO NOT DO IT. It is incredibly painful to see him day in and day out. He became my best friend in the world and now I have to live without him. If I could go back I never would have gotten into it.