Advice: Dating an Older Man

If Mrs. Robinson was out with the freshman, who was Mr. Robinson with? Obviously, if you’re looking for advice about dating an older man, you have some idea of the possibilities. The younger woman / older man combination is a classic. And now, with the help of online dating sites, it’s easier to reach out and touch a man more attune to your desires. I hate to generalize, but that’s what this article is about. Take these words with a grain of salt, and open your mind to the possibility of dating an older man.

It can be easy to see why some women prefer to date older men. Younger guys are just coming into their own, unsure and uncertain about life, despite how much they swear they’re not. They can be inexperienced in the bedroom and hungry to put notches in their belt, some with little regard to any relationships they’re currently entertaining. Career paths aren’t as defined, nor their bank accounts. Dating a younger man has drawbacks that many older men don’t share.

Dating an older man comes with benefits. Maturity is certainly one of the biggest and more obvious factors. Mature men tend to know themselves a little better than younger boys. They typically aren’t as sexually motivated, either, but that doesn’t mean lovemaking suffers. They can be mature between the sheets, too, knowing more and taking a different approach to pleasure. Older men are more established and farther along in their careers, and security is a nice benefit of tying yourself to a steady life. If you find the right older man, a big helping of bliss could be in your future!

"They typically aren’t as sexually motivated, either, but that doesn’t mean lovemaking suffers."

So, now that you’ve set your sites on dating an older man, it's now a question of where and how to find them. You can wander down to any local pub and announce that you’re looking for a mature man. I can just hear the bar stools creaking as they’re pushed back and a fine group of heavy-set, 30 to 50-year-olds come waddling your way. Hey, even Herbert’s there and he’s 78! Not quite what you were thinking? No worries. We have online dating!

If you’re looking for a really older man, you might want to consider sites that specifically speak to a target demographic. In our Seniors Dating section, there are a couple of choices to consider. Having surfed the sites myself, I know that not every man on there belongs in the age category, so you could find someone you like even if you are aiming a little lower on the age scale. Otherwise, just about any dating site will do. I think you’ll be hard pressed to find a man who won’t consider going out with a younger woman but you’ll want to make sure your lines of communication are open just the same. That means be open about what you’re looking for and hopefully they’ll be honest with you. In the end, a cup of coffee and some decent conversation never killed anyone, so what do you have to lose?

Resources & advice for dating an older man:

Dating an Older Man: Q&A from About.com

Ivenus – With an Older Man: A Q&A from a woman’s perspective

For Teens Dating Older Men: Solid advice when age and legal issues come into play

Leave any of your own older man dating tips below!

User Comments: (enter your comments)

Comments by: J
My boyfriend is 42 and I just turned 24. My folks know how old he is,and his son is 17. We are getting ready to move in together. He loves me so much. he pays attention to me, and sweeps me off my feet everyday. The sex is amazing. It s hard with pressure from my friends to date my own age, but It s my life, they will come around eventually.

Comments by: Lisa
I m 21 with a 41 yr old boyfriend. We have never been happier. He is the best boyfriend I ever had. Lots of people (family, friends, and strangers) tell us we are ment to be. You can see we are in love. I do not deal with societal pressure. That is societies problem, not mine. I am happy and the majority of society is not. I don t care what a bunch of miserable people have to say about us.

Comments by: Kathy
Im 20yrs and ever since i was 14 i was always interested in older men. I just can t help it! Iv dated boys my age and ther re just not ready for me. Im not a big party girl. I rather stay home and watch a moive and cuddle! Right now Im going head over heels for this 41yr man. He make me melt. Its ... i don t know, all i have to say is Age IS just a number DATE WHO YOU WANT! BE HAPPY!

Comments by: aysha
i am 24yrs old now i was 21 when i met this wanderfull guy who at that time was 46yrs old. we started talking on the phone and then he asked me to marry him.i was so inlove with him but then when i told people about us they started telling me all these horrible things so i ended things with him it has been 3yrs now i still love him we are talking again but i am to affraid to tell him how i feel

Comments by: Zan


Comments by: Gabriella
I am 28, in a relationship with a 57 year old man. I d love to say older men are more mature, but i have discovered that some men are the same whether they are 80 or 8. Sex is very bland, & it is not easy dealing with societal pressure. I d think twice before i did it again. Been with him 3 years now & i want out.It s not all bad, he is kind, generous and loving. But wish i could slash 20yrs off..

Comments by: Lidia
i recently turned 18 and i met this guy who is 26, how we met...? wel thrugh my best firend, he is quite close to this guy, so at the moment we are just dating, obivously we have shared very, passionate kisses, and its this and his personality what drives me nuts crazy over him, i jus hope that everything lasts. but yes, i culdnt be happier at the moment

Comments by: NICOLE
I AM 26 YEARS OLD AND MADLY IN LOVE WITH A GUY WHO IS 48. I AM SEVERAL MONTHS YOUNGER THAN HIS SON AND I HAVE TWO SONS FROM A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP. BUT I AM SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT WE JUST HAD A SON TOGETHER. OUR SON IS 7 WEEKS OLD AND OUR LIFE COULD NOT BE BETTER. EVEN THOUGH THERE IS 22 YEARS BETWEEN US, WE ARE GREAT TOGETHER. WE LOVE EACH OTHER, WE ARE HAPPY AND WE ARE RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER.

Comments by: Marcos
Totally worried. I am falling for a 17 yr old and we have been talking for a year now. I am 25. I just dont know because of society and laws thats whats worrying me the most. However we have actually talked more than physical atraction, and i am a sucker for mature and smart conversations. She is a great girl. Just the age is the worry. She said she would take her chances... but I dont know if I..

Comments by: Ms. Happy.
I m 28 and I m dating a guy who is 42. I ve dated guys more my age, but it just wasn t working out. The guy I m currently dating (age 42) is wonderful. We are able to talk. Conversation is great. Even though sex is different (it doesn t last as long) I can honestly say I am satisfied. He is a couple years younger than my mom. That makes me feel uneasy. But I am happy. I ll keep being happy.