Dating is a means for several different ends. For some people, going through the dating process is a way to meet someone special, someone who’s a delight to be around and is actually capable of giving as well as receiving affection. For others, however, dating is limited to strictly one purpose – having casual sex with someone that they don’t despise, but don’t necessarily give a damn about either. Not that loving intimacy and great sex are exclusive. The best case scenario for many people is that combination of intimacy, both emotional and physical. Sex, love, and dating are tangled with each other, even if some elements are missing from time to time.

The online dating world isn’t actually that far removed from the time-honored dating and mating rituals which have been taking place for eons. Yes, there is the safety of anonymity and you can afford to be a bit choosier from the cozy environs of your living room (or wherever you go online) but there is the same potential for meat market obnoxiousness as there is any other social setting. This can be frustrating for people who specifically avoid cheesy pick-up bars so that they don’t have to deal with that kind of gung-ho, take-no-prisoners attitude towards sexual conquest. It can be just as irritating to get a hold of longer-term encounters in the online world as it is out on the street, but there are ways to narrow the selection of worthwhile dates and stop idiots with one thing on their minds from harassing you on the net.

When you’re writing your personal details on online dating sites, you don’t have to come across as someone with a chastity belt and a fear of sex. But if you want to avoid sounding like some desperate stranger in a dimly-lit nightclub, you might want to try posting funny and/or interesting details about yourself that don’t involve your sexual appetite. There are lots of guys who are patrolling these sites looking for a quick fix, but there are a number of people who are also interested in just meeting fun, exciting singles. These people are capable of dating without sex and instant gratification being the ultimate number-one priority. Keeping things personal without getting into the gritty details about your sex drive can be difficult for some gents, but if you’re looking for something a bit more meaningful than some random encounter, you should be able to write about why people would want to hang around you, what interests you have etc.

Another problem is the mixed messages that are broadcast with the pictures on any given personal profile. The photos are unfortunately the first thing that most people check out – human beings like a pretty picture and given the short attention-span that surfing the net creates, your photo will likely be the first impression that many people have. Again, you don’t have to be dressed in a nun’s outfit, and you absolutely want a flattering image so that people aren’t terrified to meet you, but discretion is the key here. There’s nothing wrong with cleavage photos and modeling in underwear, but those kinds of images will broadcast the message that sex is the first thing on your mind, with longer relationships or extended encounters being a distant second.

Dating shouldn’t have to be a hoop that someone jumps through in order to get into another person’s pants–not that there isn’t a place for that, but many people are looking for something a bit deeper than just the physics of encounters. Intimacy is a great aspiration, and it’s not just physical intimacy that’s important. It is possible to get that combination of physical and emotional closeness in the online scene; it’s just a question of what you put out there for all to see. Coy discretion can be as attractive as the raciest profiles, and the right mix of physical allure and striking personality aspects will ensure that the encounters that you have will be worth remembering.