Articles : [ Cupid's Romance Article Archive ]


Getting Your Ex Back



By: Jenn Malko

Getting Your Ex Back!At some point in life, we all to lose something that we really wish we held on to – in this case, you lost your love and you need to get your ex back. Relationships are fickle things and their success is always resting on a knife’s edge. Too much downward pressure and they can split in two, never to be unified again. Hopefully, your relationship hasn’t undergone this degree of tragedy. Perhaps there’s a hope it can be renewed. To have any chance, you need to figure out where the problems lie and address them. Once you do, you need to develop a solution. Only then can you have an open conversation, looking at the issues, and then, with a bit of luck, you just might be able to get your ex back.

Relationships, and ex boyfriends and girlfriends, have many different reasons splitting apart. Your first job is to figure out what went wrong. It may be one single thing that led to the demise, but it was probably a combination of many things. Maybe you cheated on your ex and they found out, but it may take a promise never to do it again along with being home more often, being more attentive to your ex and changing the way you react around other members of the opposite sex to really dig down to the root of the problem. You need to be able to look at this from both sides – yours and theirs. It may be easy to see your ex’s issues or it may not. They may not have been as open with you about how they felt if they knew the relationship was doomed. Also, the ending of a relationship brings new problems into the equation. If life has been hell for them since you broke up, it might be an easy sell. Otherwise, you might have to address issues such as new relationships that they may have started or a general acceptance that the relationship is over for good in their minds. You can’t solve a problem unless you know what it is and you will need to know the issues if you have any chance of getting your ex back into your life.

"You and your ex probably have many negative feelings connected with your relationship and these need to be broken down."

Problems require solutions. Going to your ex saying I know I messed up or I know what the problems were and I understand your point of view won’t do a bit of good unless you can convince them that you have a solution. As mentioned above, this may not be just one solution – it could be many. This could take some time and a detailed plan, but if you really want to get your ex back, you should be prepared to work for it. There are many ways to overcome obstacles in relationships. Counseling is one possible solution. Trained specialists can show you tips and tricks to solve even the most complex of issues. You and your ex probably have many negative feelings connected with your relationship and these need to be broken down. Every time they see you they may feel things like anger, jealously, betrayal or sadness. Feelings like this are crippling to a romance, but there are ways to get through it if you’re willing! Besides huge emotional hurdles, you also have to overcome behavioral ones. These should be easier to fix – but not much easier. This might mean leaving work at a set time every day, doing work around the house you never used to or allowing the other person to have their own opinions and respecting them for it. You want to get your ex back and how you plan on doing it is just as important as recognizing how you lost them in the first place.

"You must make your relationship a priority in your life."

Once you have the issues and can figure out a way to heal them, you need to take your ideas to your ex. You already know you have an uphill battle. You need to approach the situation with total openness and honesty. Showing them you know what went wrong, and the solutions to getting your relationship back on track again, is your best chance at getting them back. Your ex may say there’s no way for your relationship to be rebuilt. This is the risk. If this happens, you need to be ready to move on and let the healing process begin. Otherwise, it’s time to really start talking about putting the love back in your life that you both know belongs there.

Getting your ex back is one of the greatest moments in a relationship. The elation of knowing you have love again can be overpowering and it can be easy to slip back into the old routine if you’re not vigilant. You must make your relationship a priority in your life. If you don’t, you’re going to be back here, on this page, hoping to get you ex back once again, but by then there may be no love left.


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Comments by: Roger
Yes, there was some good advice there I lost my girl after 3 yrs because i was seeing and talking to others on the internet I was WRONG and would like to win her back She says it is over and doesn t want me to see her at her work or home How can I convince her that I m not a bad guy and need her ? I only need her and no one else matters Roger

Comments by: jason
i need help . I was serving army in singapore . I meet her on tuesday . And she got a new bf which i dint know . After that they broke up . And she said she love me . And her heart only can contain me . On wednesday . She wanted to meet her ex to study . But i get paranoid . And dont agree to let her go . She say even if i dont let her go . She ll still patch up with him . And now they patch up .

Comments by: staying hopeful
I had my woman for 4 years, then I dumped her for many reasons. Its been almost 2 months now and up to this point I have been hanging on the hope of us reuniting, but this monday I went to her work and told her goodbye because I cant chase this anymore! I need to move on, but am still hoping she calls me?? I wonder how much time will go by... Stay hopeful and pray to GOD everynight! =)

Comments by: Paul Brandon
After 5 years together we mutually decided to break up. After a few months I realized I loved her and wanted her back. I kept phoning her and she hated it. She has feelings for another guy and told me she wants to move on repeatedly. I don t think this is a battle I can win. I need to not contact her for as long as possible. If she wants me, she will find me. Only time will tell.

Comments by: anonymous
I broke up with my ex. We had communication problems and it got to the point where he didn t know what he wanted. He doesn t want me to be there while he works through it, and I think thats a nice way of saying i never want to get back together with you. I wish things were different, but its time to let go, I think. I can t do anything to get him back, can I? We don t talk.

Comments by: J...A
To me my ex was my world but i had trouble trusting him because he was always talking to his ex gf. i tried trusting him but my friends told me hes a player... i then told him to leave me alone but i regret it cause i miss him deeply.. but he said no you choose your friends over me. and now i dont know what to do.. i honestly want to be with him.. I LOVE HIM... what should i do???? =[

Comments by: unknown
my ex really loved me, and showed me that he did care about me. however, i broke alot of promises he lost my trust. and so then he deleted my number and blocked me on everything. he broke up with me and i am so torn into pieces. should i try talking to him cus he wouldnt let me give him a chance to talk to him.

Comments by: Abbie
i was only with my boyfriend for 5 months, but he lost someone close to him. i was there for him, but it made us really distant, and i could see the spark going. i really still do love him to bits to be onnast, but how do i win him back ?:/

Comments by: Jenny
i was with this guy and he told me i was the girl of his dreams but then the holidays started and i didnt see him for about 2 months and he got over me. i still love him so much its really bad. i told him everyting and he said he thought we could get back together but then we never ended up talking again i see him everyday and i always catch him staring at me but nothings happening? i dont get it?

Comments by: Angela
OK so I am desperate for answers or advice. I was in a relationship for 3 years. We went thru alot in that time. More than a normal relationship would have and still I love him deeply. I have moved out of the house and into my own across the state. I think of him constantly and never had this kind of pain before. What do I do? How do you move on from this kind of grieving>