There comes a time in a relationship that you’re going to meet the parents of your new love. Sometimes this happens when you least expect it and you really don’t have much time to prepare. If that’s the case, we wish you the best! Otherwise, consider a few quick pointers to help you survive. Meeting the parents can make or break your relationship. To ensure you do more making than breaking, here are a few points to consider when you meet his or her parents for the first time.

They say you should dress for success and that can easily apply to romantic situations. First impressions happen quickly so those first few moments after you meet the parents are crucial. The best possible scenario is meeting the potential in-laws at a black tie ball. The dress code is set and everyone looks like James Bond or the perfect Princess. If you’re not so lucky to have an event like this for your initial meeting, let your situation dictate your dress. A backyard barbeque calls for casual dress, but that doesn’t mean you let everything slide. Leave the smelly sandals or ripped sneakers in the closet along with those perfectly polished black patent shoes. Your footwear, like every other piece of clothing, should be clean and well kept. Think of what you wear as a reflection of how they will expect you to treat their son or daughter. You don’t want to change your style too much. After all, you should be our true self around everyone, but just remember that the parents you’re meeting aren’t just anyone! They could be your future mother and father in-law and a great first impression will go a long way to paving a smooth road for your future.

"You want to seem intelligent, thoughtful and worthy to date their son or daughter."

Conversation is expected and important when you meet the parents for the first time. What you say will reflect on who you are and no matter how close the family happens to be, his or her parents will be trying to find out more about you then they’ve been told. Hopefully you’re well rested because you’ll want to be attentive to what they say. Look for little hints in their conversation as they try and steer towards topics that are important to them. Make sure to respond to questions and contribute to conversation. Contribution doesn’t mean monopolization. A great speaker realizes that the best conversations are those with equal parts. Everyone involved should be speaking for about the same amount of time. For example, if Mom is shy, a good move might be to ask her questions to help bring the conversation back into balance. If you’re getting peppered with questions from the parents, as is likely being the new addition to the family, make sure to shoot some back. Conversation is give and take and you’re sure to impress if you aim to bring equality to your discussions.

If conversation is rolling along, there is a danger that it may reach into areas that are inappropriate. We can’t do much to help you if they are responsible for derailing an otherwise pleasant train, but you should do your best to not let this happen. A common saying holds that you should agree with Mom on religion and Dad on politics. I think that’s too contrived. Plus, you’re giving up your beliefs on some of the most important topics in life. Religion, politics, sex and drugs should be left off the table. These are deeply personal subjects and although they are essential to our daily lives, they can lead to conversations that don’t belong when you first meet someone new – especially people who might be intimately involved with your relationship. You want to seem intelligent, thoughtful and worthy to date their son or daughter. Could you ask for more out of any first meeting with the parents?

It pays in gold to be prepared when you first meet the parents. You want to look as good as you can without appearing out of place. You want to take part in the sharing of thoughts and ideas that will help everyone get to know you better – and you them. And you need to keep everything on course so that everyone feels comfortable and comes away from that first meeting smiling. It’s not that hard when you keep these things in mind. Meeting the parents can be fun and exciting so here’s hoping you blow them away!