There’s something seductive about secrecy, isn’t there? Having a mysterious date with a total stranger can be enough to leave you rattled – yet oddly wanting more. It’s one thing to have someone you’ve just met play quiet while you spill your guts, but you can easily turn the tables if you so desire. If you’ve ever been in a position where you’ve hung yourself though use of your tongue, you know what type of worth a little privacy can have – at least at the start of a new relationship. Here are a few tips that will help you keep a little bit back that could help you get a lot further with your dates.

Back off on the frequency of your emails. You may live at your computer station but there’s no reason to go advertising it. Wait a few hours on purpose after receiving an email and you’ll look like you’re keeping a busy schedule.

“I have plans” is a great fall back for any question about what you’re doing at a given time. If you’re busy, be it washing the dog or taking your laundry to your moms, you clearly “have plans.” Use this phrase to save them from your mundane existence. They’ll see enough of that after you’re married.

If you make plans and they get broken, remember that it’s no sweat. Canceling a date is “fine” with you. Don’t go out of your way to make up a horde of events that will look like they can easily fill the gap, but a little suggestion that you have some friends that wanted to get together might be okay. After all, if you’re not doing something with your date, you “have plans.”

Ask the questions and let them answer. People love to talk about themselves. Hopefully you’re interested enough in the person you’re dating to be hanging off their every word. With this in mind, keep them talking and answering your questions. By the end of the date, you’ll know so much more about them, which you can use for your own devious devices, and they’ll be left wondering what hit them yet feeling good about all the time they spent talking about their favorite subject – themselves!

Try and keep your answers down to 30 seconds or less. When you get into anything deeper, you’re giving away details. Details kill mystery and you’re trying to build suspense! Throw it back to them when before time has its way with you!

Keep your personal life private. You don’t know your date well enough to start dishing on past relationship and personal problems. You’re months away from conversation like that. Be vague and impress them by spinning everything in a positive light.

Now we can’t forget that the goal of any relationship is to grow closer to that special person. The real beauty of a life shared is in the sharing. If you want to use an air of mystery to help get your relationship rolling, go ahead. You have a few dates at the very least to play with. After that, though, put the cloak and dagger routine behind you and enjoy the closeness that comes with exposing your true self to the person you love.