Here is a shocking surprise: people aren’t always honest online. Sometimes it’s on purpose and sometimes it’s not. Either way, people feel protected in their deceptions by the anonymity afforded by the Internet.

Why do people lie? We live in a society that puts a great deal of importance on youthfulness and an attractive appearance. However, from the other side of society’s proverbial mouth comes sayings like, “Don’t judge a book by its cover,” “Beauty is only skin-deep” and “It’s what’s on the inside that counts.” The above seemingly contradictory ideas create a twisted pop-morality mentality in the heads, rather than the hearts, of men. Obviously people worry about what other people superficially think but will never admit it since ideally it shouldn’t matter -- although it does. This paradox only becomes apparent when challenged. I’ve actually had people justify deception to my face by saying, “It shouldn’t matter if I say I am 39 when I’m 47. You’re just as superficial for caring about the truth as I am for lying.” It’s as logical as wrong + wrong = right. The best lies are the ones we can justify to ourselves.

People guiltlessly lie so here are some signs of intentional and unintentional deception:

Wants to meet right away or keeps putting it off: Too soon could definitely mean too desperate. If it’s now or never then maybe what should be a simple first meeting means too much. If it seems too difficult to find time to meet, then maybe he’s not serious in his endeavour. Maybe he’s too afraid of rejection or simply extremely shy. Unless you’re a therapist, you might want to leave the shell cracking to the experts. He could legitimately be too busy with other things to make time for you, but if a date is too much of a commitment that probably doesn’t bode so well for how seriously he can commit to an actual relationship.

No picture or a blurry one: Lots of people don’t own a digital camera or scanner, but most people can find an alternative means of getting a decent photo online if they’re serious. Not everyone is photogenic, but a bad photo is better than none. It means that you can only be pleasantly surprised. Also, watch for signs of pictures being outdated or not corresponding to the written description and don’t be shy to ask why there is a discrepancy. Just like a modelling agency, give more merit to a candid snapshot than a professionally posed shot good lighting can dramatically improve reality for some folks. Be wary of bodies without heads or heads without bodies, if they claim privacy is an issue they easily could have one photo of each.

No profile details: It’s a pain to fill out pages and pages of questions, but if he can’t provide minor details like most profiles want, then maybe he’ll be just as close-lipped about the major facts when you meet him. Completed descriptions are a sign of a person's openness, security about himself and demonstrate a willingness to invest time in getting to know someone else as well as in revealing himself.

The best rule of thumb is trust your gut. If you’re too afraid or too untrusting to do that because you might risk making a mistake, maybe dating, online or otherwise, is not something you’re ready to do. No matter how clever you are, there’s no way to completely avoid conmen and smooth talkers, but that’s true everywhere not just online.