“We’ll just be like George Bernard Shaw and Mrs. Patrick Campbell: We’ll write letters our whole lives.”
-Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail

Kathleen Kelly might have been able to swallow a bitter pill and be content about never meeting the love of her life, but most of us are looking for something a little more... real! The only way for a budding relationship to reach the next level is to take the plunge and set a date and time to meet. The “where” is easy, but figuring out “when” can be a chore. Jump too soon and you could scare new relationships off. Wait too long and they could move on. Finding a happy medium takes mastery of an art, but with a little practice and a mind for certain specific points, you’ll have set up that first successful date before you know it.

One of the great scourges of our time is messaging fatigue. This terrible affliction sets in after first contact and will continue on until a personal meeting can be arranged. You can avoid fatigue with your new friend by asking how long they usually wait before setting up a date. It’s simple and straightforward. If you’re not happy with their answer, whether the time frame is too long or too short, you can easily cut from wasted conversation and head off to find someone more in step with you. If you both share somewhat similar time frames, work on arranging a time in between. This is part practical and part planned. By no means should you attempt to set a time in stone. It’s just a feeler so that you know where you stand. Compromise is the cornerstone of any good relationship so you might as well get used to it early on!

Another factor to consider is the telephone. It’s very easy to get caught up with emails and instant messaging conversations. Often, people make decisions to meet when there’s still opportunity to get to know each other better without leaving the comfort of home. The voice can say many things that wired communications just can’t convey. Don’t ignore this sometimes overlooked tool and you can ensure that when you first meet, you’ll have sound results.

"The voice can say many things that wired communications just can’t convey."

Beyond moving conversation to the telephone and agreeing on a time frame when sufficient conversation can take place, there are a few other things that can help the process along. First and foremost, you’ll want to ensure you have sufficient pictures of the person you’re going to get together with. Ask your new friend how recent the pictures are and make sure you can clearly see their face in at least one and their whole body in another. If you get this out of the way before the big day rolls around, you can be sure there are no surprises when you meet. Also, ensure you’ve asked all the big questions you want to ask. If it’s important to you that the person isn’t married, for example, make sure to ask them if they’re married! Once you’ve seen all you need to see and hear all that you need to hear, that’s another sign that it’s time to make plans for a date.

At the end of You’ve Got Mail, there’s that great scene in the park when the two leads meet on a bridge in a park. After finally realizing that she already knew the man of her dreams before the climax had been reached, Kathleen Kelly says, “I was hoping it was you.” If you take the steps mentioned above with both of you having a clear understanding of what each of you are looking for and can arrange a great time to finally meet, I’m sure you’re first rendezvous will be as magical as this epic digital dating movie moment!