Have you ever bee at a party and been cornered by The Most Depressing Human Being In The Universe, who has chosen this time and place to drone on about the dullest, grimmest aspects of his/her life? It would be quite the stretch to think of the entire Internet as a cocktail party, but online profiles are like a lot of social situations. When it comes to first impressions, you should try to stay upbeat on your profile in the same manner that you’d present yourself on a first date. You don’t have to lie, but you don’t have to be a gigantic downer either.

While you are not a commodity, putting a positive spin on things works just as well for profiles as it does for products. When someone is attempting to sell a used car or house, rest assured that whatever faults this car or house has is going to be phrased in such a way that even greatest faults look like delightful quirks. If a kitchen is tiny and cramped, it magically becomes “cozy” and “inviting” when it’s being advertised. Of course, you don’t have to dream things up and give false information. Nobody wants to discover that someone who billed themselves as an “incredible cook” is actually someone who believes that micro-waved pasta is the height of fine dining. But an upbeat profile will pique the interest of a lot of potential dates who are looking for someone who’s fun and most importantly inviting. Nothing scares more people away than an openly negative profile.

So, if your profile states something like, “I can’t wait to date a guy who isn’t a cheating jerk,” you might want to think about changing it to, “I’m really excited to meet some sweet, caring guys.” Beginning the profile with a negative statement is a surefire way to convince people that you’re abrasive and demanding. Instead of, “Short people need not apply,” what about, “I’m a big fan of tall people?” Rather than focusing on a list of people and characteristics that you want to avoid, it’s a better idea to focus on the positive aspects of the people that you want to attract. For instance, instead of, “If you are unmotivated, lazy and unattractive don’t bother getting in touch with me,” a better phrase would be, “I’m looking for a highly motivated individual who’s in great shape.”

Try to avoid any kind of cursing and please don’t use caps lock when typing. Stating, “NO CAR EQUALS NO CALL BACKS,” is not only rude, but it also gives the impression that you’re yelling. Remember that a pleasant demeanor will make a lot of difference when it comes to first impressions, and the less in-your-face your demands are, the more responses you’ll receive. In fact, these profile aspects should not even look like demands; they should appear to be facets of a well-rounded attractive individual who may have preferences but is by no means impossible to please.

It’s not that difficult to keep things positive, and the only rule of thumb is that profiles should be filled with aspirations and hopes for future partners, rather than a list of demands that must be met at all costs. Keep things upbeat, and you’ll have plenty of time to deal with the negative stuff after the relationship is up and running.