The simplest way I know to find out whether your expectations of your ideal mate are realistic is to examine the two sections included in almost every online dating site profile. Check out the page describing yourself and then compare the details describing the person whom you are looking to meet. Now ask yourself, do both sections seem to describe similar people or do they reflect two diametrically opposed individuals?

Breathe a sigh of relief if there is at least some resemblance between the two. No matter how eccentric you may be, honey, nobody is truly so unique that they’ll never meet someone like themselves. We all feel sorry for ourselves from time-to-time and think no one is like us, but realistically we’re being way to egotistical if we believe we’re completely one of a kind. Just be patient and hang out where you feel most comfortable and another “you” will eventually show up.

If you described wanting someone that is your polar opposite, then I think you need to reconsider what you want. Opposites attract only when one is a fridge magnet and the other is an actual fridge. If you have a lot of things about yourself that you consider unacceptable flaws, then I say if you wouldn’t be with you then who else would? I suggest considering changing yourself in the ways that you can, accepting yourself or trying to do both. If I don’t like being short, dating a taller man won’t make me any taller.

At the beginning I mentioned fairy tales, so I wanted to be clear that the reverse of the above example could be true. You could have expectations of meeting someone who isn’t “better” than you, but is actually worse off. In the end, that kind of fairy tale ends the same way. If you need someone in a poorer predicament than you so you can be the saviour and not the saved, you’re just as confused as the self-deprecating buddy above. You may reject yourself in a more positive manner by saying you want to help others, but you’re still only looking to be the dependable side of co-dependent.

When you feel good about yourself and contented with your life, then you’ll realize you already have found Mr. Right because he’s you and the truly ideal partner is only someone with whom to express your happiness with -- not someone to create it in the first place. It’s much easier to share than to only give or take.