July 28, 2010
Going Gaga Over Single Parent Date Sites
Being an evil jerk and not having a rugrat of my own, yet, whenever I'm around my friend and his adorably cute, little angel, I like to do exactly two things. The first is to give her lots and lots of sugary snacks, while the second is to remind him that I never have to change any diapers. So after giving his daughter a lollipop three sizes bigger than her head, I asked how he managed to handle things on his own. He answered that thanks to all the single parent date sites he'd joined, he was usually too busy to remember what it's like to raise a tyke by himself. Naturally, I asked if dating sites for single parents were covered in upchuck stains and had shrill screams as the page's background music.
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Posted by brian at 2:28 AM | Comments (0)
July 19, 2010
A Lovely Tale Of Romance In The Rain
Walking to work one day, my coworker and I got royally soaked. I told her I liked the rain. When she looked at me like I was twit, I shouted "DID YOU NEVER EXPERIENCE ROMANCE IN THE RAIN BEFORE?" She still couldn't hear me over the torrential downpour, so we rushed inside a coffee shop to wait it out a bit. Inside, I told her about a couple of people I met on dating sites where our first dates were during heavy rainfall.
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Posted by brian at 10:01 AM | Comments (0)
July 14, 2010
My Buddy's Explosive Military Woman
After a three-year stint in "Iraqistan," my buddy wanted to stop making war and start making love. When I asked why the sudden 180 turnabout, he sat me down, clasped his hands on my shoulders and said "Brian, if you make one more stupid war pun, I'm going to smack you." Having not been through boot camp training since my days in fat camp, I figured it was a good idea to shut up and listen to what he had to say about his new military attache. When asked if he met her on tour, he replied that he instead found her on a military dating site. Apparently, she was a military woman with a wicked sense of humor.
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Posted by brian at 2:22 AM | Comments (0)
July 7, 2010
Finding Love Through An Older Dating Service
When my friend told me he had joined a couple of senior dating sites, I was a little skeptical about how much luck he'd have finding someone his own age. I immediately pictured my sweet, little Nana, who is so technologically impaired that she thinks my job consists of "tapping on the computer boards, making the Internets." Just how many people would be able to use a computer and navigate the Internet, let alone be willing to take advantage of an older dating service?
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Posted by brian at 2:57 AM | Comments (0)
June 30, 2010
Want To Improve Your French Kissing Techniques? Apply Now!
You know how a ton of sex dating sites have you give yourself some sort of catchy title in order to get other users to check out your profile? Well, for longer than I'm confident enough to admit to, I hadn't been able to get any casual sex. This was while using some boring self-descriptive phrasing as my bio's hook, so since I was craving the feel of a woman's tongue in my mouth, I figured I'd try being more blunt. I made some joke about wanting to improve my french kissing techniques and, to my surprise, immediately scored messages from about a dozen beautiful babes. I guess this gives weight to the idea that confidence is a major turn-on for chicks, because after juggling all the replies, I quickly ended up with a handful of dates scheduled over the next week.
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Posted by brian at 2:46 AM | Comments (0)
June 23, 2010
Dating Differences Between Rich And Poor People
I've met tons of people through various dating sites, but never do I feel so out of place as when visiting sites designed to let you meet wealthy people. Maybe it's a mix of humility and arrogance. Humility being "what's a cheap bum with a less-than-stellar credit rating doing on a site for financially successful people?" and arrogance more along the lines of "I bet I could nab a rich broad who's slumming it." Another thing that puts me in a state of unease is that there are often different mentalities between rich and poor people.
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Posted by brian at 2:26 AM | Comments (0)
June 14, 2010
Always Be Honest When Bringing Two Spanish Angels On The Same Date
Once upon a time, I was a fool. Not a fool in love, like in the classic romantic ballad, so much as a disorganized, moronic idiot. Now we've all had complete scatterbrain moments once or twice in our lifetimes (or in my case, once or twice a day), but I don't think I was ever as stupid as when I arranged a date with not one, but two different spanish angels. In classic sitcom fashion, I even scheduled them at the same time in the same restaurant. I've been way too embarrassed to even look at a Latin dating site ever since.
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Posted by brian at 1:10 PM | Comments (0)
June 9, 2010
Dating Need Not Be Tough For Shy Large Guys
Back in college, I believe I could count the number of one-night stands I had on just one finger. Even then, seeing how unsatisfied she was when she left, I think it's fair to discount some of the knuckles. While I'm proud to say I didn't fall into the typical barbaric attitudes most guys adopt when experiencing college life, I must admit that's only because I was a shy large guy who didn't think he'd get to seriously snag any frisky coeds. Luckily for me, I was able to meet quality women on BBW dating sites.
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Posted by brian at 2:03 AM | Comments (0)
June 2, 2010
Why Asian Honey Is The Sweetest Of Them All
I like to consider myself a gentleman who neither brags about his conquests nor picks favorites when it comes to ethnicity. This is because part of me considers the former to be crass, while the latter may sound just a touch prejudiced. Ladies and gents: I am an equal-opportunity lover who never kisses and tells. However, I am ashamed to admit that when it comes to Asian honey, I find the tactless oaf within me wakes up with fervor, which is why I often peruse through the Asian Dating sites.
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Posted by brian at 2:06 AM | Comments (0)
May 26, 2010
Why I Pine For Beautiful Religious Women
A lot of the time, I'll hear friends, both male and female, warning me to stay away from beautiful religious women. They'll say "these gals are only married to God" and will therefore never put me or my needs first. Some see this as a real relationship breaker, but I tend to view that spiritual dedication as a testament to their sense of character and self-worth. It takes real strength to firmly stand by one's beliefs these days, so I know when I find someone applying that resolve to their faith, they'll also be powerful lovers for me, both in body and in soul. It's for that reason that I often find myself checking out Christian dating sites.
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Posted by brian at 2:09 AM | Comments (0)
May 19, 2010
Cute Italian Girl In For An Unpleasant Surprise?
Thomas Jefferson once said, "Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom." When it comes to many things, it should also be the first thing to keep in mind when communicating with people on sex dating sites. A friend of mine has been dedicated to this one site for a couple of years now and he just met a cute Italian girl. He also just found out he has Herpes - and he has failed to mention this to her even though they've already set a date to hook up.
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Posted by lucas at 2:40 AM | Comments (0)
May 12, 2010
Rich Men And Their Toys To Attract Younger Women
Many of my friends peruse online dating sites and the other day I heard a story I can't not relate to you. A woman I know (let's call her Amanda) is a member of a wealthy dating siteeven though she's not rich and for the past couple of weeks, two rich guys have been fighting for her attention and the result is hilarious. You see, rather than showering her with compliments or trying to pass off what sensitive and funny guys they are, they showered her with insanely expensive gifts - just another example of rich men and their toys to attract younger women.
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Posted by lucas at 2:14 AM | Comments (0)
