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June 23, 2005
A Race for the Stove
I’ve always felt a little uncomfortable around niche dating sites – uneasiness as if I have left the stove on or the water running after I’ve left the house. His surfaced yesterday reading this piece on Asian dating sites. I think I feel this way because they place so much emphasis on race.
I was born in 1975, and although I grew up in a rural community, I’ve always been taught that race isn’t important. Unlike beliefs such as the world is flat and the sky is blue, equality of races and the insistence that we need to put extra effort into ensuring we act a certain way has tainted my way of viewing the issue. There was always that feeling that there was something wrong – that equality and acceptance of race was the correct belief, but it came with a dark secret. Obviously there was good reason for this feeling that overshadowed the issue for me yet there is no logical reason for me to feel awkward when those very beliefs are essential to the person I am today.
So here I am in 2005, commenting on dating sites that focus on delivering communities of segregated individuals who are looking to date based on race. Sure, anyone can join these dating sites no matter what your race happens to be. But there’s still this feeling in the back of mind that it’s wrong and that we should all join one dating site that allows everyone search by criteria, but all within the same online community. I’m talking about a dating mosaic, not a melting pot. Speaking of pots, I think I might have left the stove on so I’d better go check.
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at June 23, 2005 12:56 PM
Comments
I have met girls that say:
"sorry, i only date white guys"
so i now use that as an excuse when a girl likes me, and i don't like her...
"sorry, i only date asian girls" their reply is usually anger, dissaproving, or derrogatorry
Posted by: orlandobachelor at June 26, 2005 8:42 AM
lol! Nice! I'd never thought about playing the race card in that situation. I just get all awkward and try and skirt the issue. It never works well. I think havig a hard line like "I only date Asians" to follow would make it a heck of a lot easier!
Posted by: Doug at June 27, 2005 12:49 PM
Heh. I'm white, so I'd be hung for saying something like, "Sorry, I only date white girls."
But seriously, I agree that race *is* important. We all come from different places, each with different, unique, and rich histories and cultures. My family is Greek, and I'm very proud of that, even though I don't really follow any Greek traditions or anything. It's a kind of general pride and acknowledgement of where I've come from and how that helps makes me unique in this world, and I hope that we all share the same pride for each of our respective heritages.
On the topic of dating Asians though, I'm going to reveal a terrible secret about myself. I don't want to date an Asian. It's not because I hold anything against them; it's more that it's a typical geeky thing to have an Asian fetish, and I don't want to be thought of as a geek (although sadly I am). And as it happens, I'm actually dating a wonderful woman whose family is from Hong Kong, and whom really enjoy being with.
It's not that I would ever turn a girl down because she is of a particular race. It's more like, since I don't want to be that geeky guy with an asian fetish, coupled with the fact that I don't find asian women in general any *more* attractive than any other group of women, I don't go out of my way to seek out asians to date. In other words, I would not join an all-asian dating site :)
Although I hate it when people refuse to date someone because of their race, I am a little saddened at the thought that someday, there will be no distinguishable races. We will eventually all be essentially one face due to cross-breeding and mixed marriages, and we will eventually lose touch with some of the cultures, customs, food, heritage, and history that today we each think of as our own.
Anyway, it's a fascinating blog. Keep in coming.
Posted by: tonyg at October 3, 2005 12:18 AM
