Cupids Dating Blog

We missed an exit to a city where we planned to have dinner. My compulsively planning pal started to complain that the error had put us off schedule and that she was really counting on stopping at that particular place. I was glad that after his offer to turn around was met with refusal, her boyfriend finally told her to stop pouting about missing the turnoff. We'd simply find the next town with the same restaurant chain to eat at for our supper.

Being the only male born into my family several years after my sisters, I was always the center of attention. I too can tend to be a bit of a complainer and brood when I don't get my own way. I have gotten better with age but I could still take a page from my own book when I so readily recognize the immaturity when other folks behave the same way. In the past, it has often led to problems, even with the one person I considered my only true love.

In that situation, I dealt constantly with someone who would put off any meaningful discussion. I found a solution that now I know wasn't ideal. I used to write long emails describing exactly what I was feeling. Whether it was conflict or love letters, I'd write it all down. I recognize now that a one-way conversation, rather it is verbal or written, is not worthwhile communication.

When one person does all the talking without interaction from the other side, too much is left to misinterpretation. For me, I have too often compensated for a lack of healthy two-sided communicating by replacing dialogue by monologues. In the end, such behavior gets one pigeonholed as a complainer or worse, a nagging pain that never listens to his loved ones. Even if others share some blame for never saying how they feel.

The car ride with my friends is a great metaphor. In retrospect, too many times I rode along in uncomfortable silence when I should have told certain grumpy passengers to put up or get out, so I could enjoy the rest of the ride home.