« Lonely Rich Women Find Romance | Main | Experience A Beautiful Asian »
April 14, 2008
Apparently, Lesbian Relationships Are Complicated Too
If you pay attention to the kind of advice people give on dating, you generally find a lot of commentary on just how different men and women are. Given that the inability to communicate across the gender gap is what people think causes most of the problems then you'd think that, say, lesbian relationships would be simpler. I'm sure this won't actually be news to anyone, but that is simply not the case. The days that I'm having trouble figuring out women, my lesbian friend tends to have the most sympathetic ear for my problems. She's recently started using a lesbian dating site because she thinks it'll give her the opportunity to find someone with whom she can actually communicate.
I think that communication problems in relationships are, pretty much, the only problems in relationships aside from categorical incompatibility or wildly different goals. Sure, there are a lot of relationships that aren't meant to be, but for the ones that have a chance the only thing standing in the way of happiness is the difficulty in truly understanding each other.
It has always bothered me that people have such absurd expectations of what men or women are like. I buy that there are some patterns typical of the sexes. Maybe men tend to be more aggressive and women tend to be more nurturing, but I think that's more of an assumption than a fact. If it were true, then lesbian relationships really would be a lot easier, but no matter who is involved it really seems to be that we all face the same basic problems.
Make no mistake. I'm not saying that people are all the same. I'm saying quite the opposite. What I'm saying is that it's assumptions that cause all the problems. You think you know who someone is and you act based on that projected model rather than sincerely trying to figure out who the other person is. I think my friend has the right idea: forget about playing it cool and try to find someone using a forum that actually requires good communication for anyone to stand out.
Posted by Leon at April 14, 2008 2:28 AM
