Cupids Dating Blog

We tend to think that love should be enough; that if you care for someone enough and admire them enough, then any other problems can be overcome. That might be an inherently naive misconception, but it is definitely true that without proper communication in relationships there is very little else that matters.

Communication in relationships has got to be one of the most important things to maintain. We all know that trust in relationships is of paramount importance, but even that begins with having a good understanding of each other. Two people can't develop a good level of trust if they are constantly worried about misunderstandings and unclear expectations.

The fact is, communication problems in relationships lead directly to doubting whether or not the person you're with has any idea who you are. It's really important that, when you're looking to start a relationship, you find someone with whom you communicate well. That can be harder than it sounds.

We've all heard the jokes about how men and women communicate differently and I suppose there is some truth hidden behind all the cliches. However, I think there can be more differences between any two people, man or woman, than there generally are between the genders.

Some people simply communicate differently. Some people focus on denotative meaning, that is to say that many people rely on the literal meaning of words and don't think anything else should be read into them and, consequently, don't read anything into them when other people use them. Some people rely heavily in implications and connotations, and when someone else isn't used to thinking over everything they say, there can be problems.

Those are two overly extreme examples, but the important thing to realize is that is neither right or wrong. On the one hand, we can't be expected to read minds and decipher a web of subjective connotations. On the other hand, it can sometimes be unreasonable to expect that everything be stated explicitly. There are some things that, when you've known a person for a while, should be able to go unsaid. Part of communication is learning and anticipating. When this doesn't happen, one might well wonder if the other person is paying attention.

All this to say, if you pay a little attention to how people are accustomed to communicating, then a lot of misunderstanding and unwanted surprises can be avoided.