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December 2, 2009
Between A Rock And A Hard Place With An Ebony Hottie
For some odd reason, I've never had a thing for black chicks. Before you go jumping to conclusions and thinking that I'm some sort of racist, let me assure you it's nothing like that. Nine times out of 10, I just don't dig certain physical attributes most commonly associate with black chicks. However, that all changed when I met my pal's new girlfriend. He met her on a sex dating site a while back and ever since I met her, I can't get her out of my head. Sleeping with her probably had something to do with it. Let me tell you, she is one stunning ebony hottie.
Now hooking up with her is certainly something you can judge me for. I deserve it, but for those guys out there, if you saw just what an incredibly sexy black girl she is, you may very well understand how I lost my moral footing and slipped into the sack with her. Moreover, my friend had no intention of seeing her past the second date (and from what I gather, it was a mutual feeling) and there was an immediate connection when her and I met.
It's not as if our budding relationship is limited to the occasional romp. We've starting doing more couple-type things on the weekends and evenings and since this is the first time I've ever dated a black chick, I was unaware of the some of the issues I may encounter with interracial dating. Surprisingly, my family members are the ones who are staunchly against me dating a black girl. The fact that she has a better job, is more well-rounded and intelligent than any other - white - woman I've ever dated before seems irrelevant and it's quite disconcerting.
Clearly, my family (my parents in particular) are prejudiced and believe that regardless of how smart or successful she is, I'm bound to have my heart broken by her - at the very least. As I mentioned, it's not often I meet black chicks who I would consider to be a real ebony hottie and breaking it off because of my family's racist tendencies would make me feel prejudiced, but I'm not looking forward to future family get-togethers and I can't very well disown my parents.
Is there any way to find a resolution without hurting my new girlfriend or my family?
Posted by lucas at December 2, 2009 2:03 AM
Comments
Clearly you have your own hangups about race. No doubt they came from your parents.
You are focusing on here as an "ebony-hottie" relegating her to a position of an object. Maybe you're so caught up in the exotic nature of the relationship, that you don't give her what she desires as a person. Respect. So if you would choose your parents' prejudice views over someone you claim to care about, it would be best that you let her go. She deserves to be with someone who cares about her as a person. Not someone so torn up about her race.
Interracial relationships bring a lot of scorn and malice from outside forces. If your relationship isn't solid, it is bound to crumble anyway. And it sounds like your relationship isn't solid. Let her go now, before the feelings get any deeper. Why hurt someone you claim to care for. You aren't willing to stand up for her to your parents or anyone else.
Posted by: CW, Charlotte Wiomen's Relationship Advice Examiner at December 3, 2009 7:51 AM
