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August 30, 2005
Breaking It Off
The hardest part of any relationship comes when it’s time to say it’s over. Making that decision is the hard part. I have a close friend who has been struggling with the idea of ending a relationship with his girlfriend. They’ve been together for close to two years. In that time, they grew so close together that they never slept apart. They shared the same friends, same jobs and the same past times. They’ve been inseparable yet somehow they’ve slipped apart.
He’s been living in despair for the past couple of months, trying to cope with the downfall of life as he’s known it. His heart wants to continue on because the love is very much there but he says that somehow that spark has died. Some might say that this happens in every relationship and you just need to decide if you’re ready to stick it out because it will happen with the next relationship, too. Others, the romantics, will say that it’s time to move on. You need to find the one that you can’t go on without, even once the spark has died. My friend has decided to attempt a different course in life. He is a dreamer. Then again, so am I. I wish him all the luck.
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at August 30, 2005 4:58 PM
Comments
I ended a 2 1/2 year relationship in January. It's March and I am just now crying. It hurts like hell, I feel like we have been through a lifetime together. It's his fault because he didnt want to take the next steps and follow through so we could secure our future together. Maybe I should have nagged, threw fits and acted like a total witch. Would that have made him move? I tried to help him, nudge, hint, plain spell it out, but I was really patient, maybe that was the problem. I am owning what I did wrong, but it hurts to walk away with nothing good. I have these crazy dreams, they mess with my head, dreams that we are making love, that he's kissing my tears, that he's always with me even though we aren't together- literally there, wherever I am, waiting for me to call his name. I know how hurt he is,and me too,but I am sticking to my guns. I have decided to just move away, to just go and not let him know. I don't want to hurt him, but I want him to hurt like I do. I hate him but I don't. I am feeling so broken....
Posted by: Kirsten at March 20, 2007 8:51 AM
Hey Kristen. I've been there. From my vantage point (and these are really cheap seats), I'd say that the nagging would have done nothing. The signals were there. You wanted more. He didn't. It's sad, but it happens. The good news is that you've decided to move on. The question is how you go about it. I'm big on focusing on the positive. I know you want him to hurt, but that won't do either of you any good. You lose precious moments thinking negative thoughts when you could be focusing on the best part about this whole thing: you know now that he wasn't your perfect match and you are steps closer to finding that guy. He IS out there--the perfect guy. It's time to dream again. Itâ??s time to dream bigger dreams of a better man. That's the first step. You'll attract him once you take it but not until you push forward and leave this other guy behind.
Anyway, just my two-cents. ;)
Posted by: CupidsReviews Doug at March 21, 2007 12:02 AM
Ohh man. Where do I start? Basically I just need some advice. I've been dating this guy for about 8 months on the tenth. His birthday is the fourth and he could possibly be going to jail on the 6th. I feel so trapt.I love him to death.. we've been through so much but.. I just.. I don't think I can take anymore. =[ I really don't want to end it but I see no other way. He always talks about this future that I just can't see. Marriage kids.. but he refuses to change his drug habbits. In his dream I'm by his side doing it too. Am I a fool for staying so long?
Posted by: Raini at August 3, 2007 4:03 AM
Hey Rani,
You're in a tough spot to be in love with someone who is on such a destructive path. There's no easy way to deal with this one, unless you are totally against the choices he's made--and will continue to make. If you believe he's heading in the wrong direction (and jail and constant drug use would qualify) then you have no choice but to pull out. The good news is you're only eight months in. Imagine how hard it would be after eight years.
Sure, there may he a lot of pain for you both in the short term, but it's nothing compared to the lifetime of suffering stuck in a dead-end relationship with a partner who is going nowhere fast. Break it off, deal with the pain and then get ready for your next relationship where I guarantee you you will have picked a better guy whose moving in a more positive direction and you'll be more in love than you are right now. There's that, or you can call the correctional facility and try to figure out what the rules are for conjugal visits.
Whatever you choose, I wish you the best of luck!
Posted by: CupidsReviews Doug at August 3, 2007 10:06 AM
hmm. I want to go further into my relationship. I wanna get our act together and finally have a future. To this point I feel as though I'm in the same spot with the same routine. I have been trying really hard to move up in life, but it seems as though he is still immature and lazy to try to move up. He wants things the easy way. I want to move out, live my life with him, get married, have children, and have a career of course before all of that. But those dreams so far away I dont know how to make those wishes come true. How long does he wants this relationship to keep going?
Posted by: krystal at March 11, 2009 11:33 PM
