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February 12, 2008
Building A Shy Older Partner's Confidence
Even though I'm open to the possibility of being with someone outside of my generation, my experience has taught me that such a situation brings with it issues you should keep in mind. The most apparent is insecurity. It's not uncommon for shy older women or men to be a bit nervous about your energetic spirit. They can easily forget what they have to offer when faced with the outer beauty they themselves fear losing, or have lost already. I'm not just talking about senior dating either.
The fact that you're considering making a certain shy older person your significant other should already dissipate their feelings of apprehension. You've no doubt already accepted their appearance, so their worries about their body shape and weight are unwarranted to a certain degree. However, the reality is that human beings are sensitive creatures.
To a certain extent, it is each individual's responsibility to manage his or her own confidence. However, the physical differences between two people who are years apart is a constant reminder of the temporal gap between them. When it comes to relationships, gaps are never a good thing.
Some other blog entries that may be of interest to you:
In Praise of The Older Woman
This is why I recommend maintaining a certain degree of sensitivity around the whole age issue if you truly want to give an inter-generational relationship a go with a shy older partner. The reason it's never polite to ask a woman her age is because it's ingrained in the female psyche that beauty is gold. However, it's important to understand that women aren't the only ones who feel the social stigma of aging. Men who find themselves single at an age when they thought they would be settled down can also feel a insecure when faced with a nice lady with her life ahead of her.
In any relationship, compliments always go a long way to battle insecurities that can undermine what people feel towards each other. If you're ready to sacrifice finding someone your own age for other qualities, it doesn't hurt to remind that older partner what those qualities are.
Posted by Rick at February 12, 2008 2:00 AM
