Cupids Dating Blog

Agreed.

You're pretty in tune with my thoughts these days. Be afraid.

To date, all but one of my relationships were with older men, the most recent ones being '64 babies (there were four from that year, including my prom date, and I am '76). My last relationship was with a guy two years younger than I, and, while I have no regrets having spent that year with him, even in spite of the pain and inner turmoil it caused, I would never take it back due to the knowledge I gained from the experience.

You see, things are different now. I now understand why, in the past, I was only ever attracted to older men. The reasons are numerous. For the sake of argument, however, I'll go ahead and tell you one:

Being with these men meant I never had to grow up. I have a little bit of "daddy's little girl" complex goin' on and am not (or, more accurately, no longer) ashamed to admit it. The fact is that these men all saw me as young and naive, and I have no doubt that I was. I am relatively intelligent and educated [lol] so I can talk a good game; I remember being as young as five years of age and being told that I acted like a little adult due to my maturity. Anyway, these men all had the desire to "take care" of me because of this naiveté, and did so in the beginning. I firmly believe that one of the biggest reasons why these relationships failed was that these men simultaneously had the desire to take care of me in such a manner due to the fact that they were of an age during which one would usually have children, which, in turn, eventually led them to treat me like a child. For all intents and purposes, I may have been a child of the universe, but certainly not in brain capacity, and none of these men were capable of reconciling the two... My father did and does, though, and can, because he has watched my anamorphosis over these last twenty-eight years and had a hand in creating who I am today. In fact, so did those men, but they will not likely ever see it that way.

This whole issue is still a bit conflicted in my mind because I sometimes still do have a hankering to be taken care of. For example, I spent last Saturday in the emergency room of a Toronto hospital. Because of the nature of my condition, I was not physically able to take public transit; thus, I called my parents. My father was home but busy; however, he ensured that I called my mother, who was out at the time, so that I would get to a doctor [there're an additional few reasons for this, but they wouldn't be appropriate to write here]. My mother picked me up, drove me, helped me into the ER, and left just after I came out of triage. The pain wasn't so horrible, but nonetheless, as I sat in the waiting room, I wept because I was craving the attention of someone who cared enough to sit by my side for those hours with their arm around my shoulder, telling me it was "all gonna be alright." I was lonely, frightened, and may as well have been eight years old again.

There are certain aspects of all animals that are instinctual/innate, and the relationships between men and women are not excepted. I think that women have historically sought men with whom they would feel safe and PROTECTED, a concept which is demonstrated by the animal kingdom quite solidly by the way that some animals must fight for a mate.

Now... Now, I still want someone to bring me orange juice when I'm sick, channel-surf to find me something on TV to watch so that I'm comfortable, and tell me that it's all gonna be alright as they hear me wretching in the bathroom, spewing that O.J. into the toilet bowl... but I do not want someone who thinks they have to do everything for me due to the ill-conceived notion that I require that kind of treatment since I couldn't possibly know any better due to the age difference [sarcasm].

My ex talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until we moved in together and I discovered that he didn't know how to work the washing machine, and that wasn't even scraping the surface; the bottom line is that, even at two short years younger than I, he was seriously lacking in some real life experience - the kind on which futures are based.

All of this to say... I concur.

Meh. *disillusioned*

|triks|