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December 13, 2006
Easy to Trace Players Lose Face
My friend that's no longer single met her boyfriend online. She did of course go on several dates that didn't pan out. I would agree with her that sometimes spending a lot of time online chatting doesn't always clear up what you're going to be encountering face-to-face. Nevertheless, I bring her up as an example for a different reason, mainly online investigations.
I've known many folks who won't post a photo or use their real name. I did of course recently hear a sound byte on the local news explaining that employers might be searching the internet looking for things to hold against you. I never bothered to watch the story. If my boss has that kind of time to waste, I need a new job anyway.
I know that's overly simplifying the issue given what I do for a living. Obviously, online dating profiles aren't going to get me in trouble. In the past, I did have a boss who surveyed everyone's every move. I made good money but in the end, the pay wasn't worth the stress and I was glad to get away even if I earned less. As per usual, I digress.
Going back to my friend, instead of worrying about the outside world, you should think about what online dates will discover. She uncovered loads of men claiming to be looking only for long-term love, while having multiple profiles on the same dating sites, including, in some cases, under the intimate encounters section. She didn't feel anything was wrong with someone looking for hookups, but...
Open-minded or not, she still felt these dudes weren't exactly forthright about what they wanted. She raised some valid questions. Does someone who behaves in such a manner know what he really wants? How intelligent is it to post conflicting profiles on a site that lists all profiles available when searching by username? Did he think no one would bother to check?
There's something notably sad rather than bad about someone trying to be a player, without even knowing how to play the game is. I do suspect that all of us sometimes want to get caught. Some of us need other people to call on things since we don't have the courage to call ourselves out on it.
In my case, I realized that in the past when it came to dating I had a clear goal to find "true" love. I can't say anymore before meeting someone whether I want us to be together forever, or even for a day. I have enough pressure in my life without adding unrealistic expectations based solely on a dream. Maybe, deciding that one doesn't know what one wants is a valid choice after all.
Posted by Will at December 13, 2006 11:31 AM
Comments
It's true. There are many, many people out there looking for something. They're just not quite sure what that actually is!
Maybe what they're looking for is: what to look for!
Posted by: Robert at December 16, 2006 3:57 AM
