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October 28, 2009
Experimenting With An Older Gay Guy
For years I've known this older gay guy and for the first month or so of knowing him, he was constantly hitting on me until he finally got the point that I wasn't interested in dating him, let alone any sort of casual sex. The reason I kept hanging out with him is because he's just such an awesome guy. When he finally got the message, our friendship went on as normal and we really found a connection. He would always tell me about his experiences with guys he met on gay dating sites and I would confide in him about my relationship problems. We were perfectly comfortable talking about this stuff, so our friendship was really solidifying.
About three months ago, he started hitting on me and flirting with me once again. For some reason, this time I didn't mind that much and instead of openly rejecting him, I simply ignored his advances. It wasn't as if he was making any grand gestures in order to woo me - just the occasional comment on how I was such a great guy, or sometimes "innocently" put his hand on my thigh. It certainly didn't seem that innocent to me, though. The main problem was, he would do this at fairly awkward moments like when I was talking about committing to a relationship I was in. That's what really threw me off.
The other weekend it was just the two of us hanging out, having a few beers (perhaps a few beers too many) and I guess I lost my sense of sexual orientation. Actually, you could certainly say I was sexually disoriented, because things started to get physical. Without going into too much detail, our pants were off and this older gay guy who was once my friend was soon becoming a lover! I've really been a strict guy when it comes to betrayal in relationships. My motto is always "One strike, you're out," so I quickly put an end to things before anything serious really happened. I was really just curious, but it quickly started feeling awkward.
Now, a couple weeks after the incident, things are not as bad. We've resumed our friendship (assuming the brief sexual encounter put our friendly relationship on hiatus), but there's still a lingering feeling that this may be the beginning of the end because I'm not sure if I'll ever completely get over what happened. Seeing as I don't have many friends, it certainly would be a shame to lose him, but I guess I have only myself to blame.
Posted by lucas at October 28, 2009 2:17 AM
