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December 29, 2010
Feeling Pretty Fantastic Because Of A Pretty Asian
With the holidays up and all my friends and relatives busy with plans that didn't involve me this particular year, I figured I'd spend Christmas out on the town with a date rather than stay at home watching Rudolph's nose glow on the boob tube. My friend told me about how he met a pretty Asian woman from Okinawa on a dating sites for Asians.
I know what you're thinking: "But Brian, you're not an Asian dude!" And you would be right. So naturally, I lied. Being the Grinch that I was, I made up a profile saying I was Japanese-Canadian and conveniently forgot to include a profile pic. Aren't I a stinker?
I was surprised to see that I got a response from a pretty Asian babe practically minutes after the profile went live. And let me say that "babe" is an understatement. This chick is a total Asian hotty! She's 23, studies at the same university I graduated from and loves all the same books, comics and movies that I do. And the sexist pig in me has to point out that she's got a killer body, too.
We hit it off instantly, so I got to enjoy my holiday period exchanging PM after PM with her. Waiting for each reply was just as fun and excruciatingly long as when I was a kid waiting for my parents to get up on Christmas morning so I could open some presents. After practically spending the 12 days of Christmas in front of the computer with her, she finally sent me one message that made me froze.
Naturally, she wanted to meet up in person. Under normal circumstances I would be doing a victory dance right about now, but remember that I met her under false pretenses. Oh, why do I always do the most asinine things in order to meet pretty Asian girls?
What could I possibly do now? I couldn't just say "sure," meet up with her and hope she doesn't realize I'm actually whiter than Casper the Friendly Ghost. I normally pride myself on always being honest, so what I did next was admit the truth. Here's what she said in response:
"That sucks! How dare you lie to me like that! As punishment, I demand that you pay not only for the entire first date, but also for the second one, too!" Cue my geeky victory dance. Sometimes Christmas miracles do come true! Here's hoping I can share a New Year's miracle with this pretty Asian, too!
Posted by brian at December 29, 2010 2:28 AM
