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July 12, 2007
Gay Women Seeking Men: Truth Or Fiction
A while ago (well, months and months ago), everybody's favorite gay columnist Dan Savage talked about the latest trend with the gay population - having hetero sex. Apparently getting it on with members of the opposite gender doesn't mean you're straight (although it does beg the question of why people would even bother using gay/straight/bi labels in the first place). Yep, it looks like hetero sex is the new black, it's trendier than Pug dogs, Starbucks and iPods combined. I wonder, however, just how many ads there are out there for gay women seeking men - I haven't seen any in the gay dating sites, and rest assured they're pretty scarce in the straight dating sites as well. It makes me wonder if Dan Savage is blowing smoke out his rear as usual, or if there's any truth to his claims.
It's not complete bull. I know more than a couple of lesbians who've gotten it on with gents, although these were often fleeting encounters. In a couple of instances, genuine relationships were born out of one of these interactions - the people just clicked and sexual "orientation" be damned. If you REALLY wanted to engage in post-modern navel gazing, you could ask yourself "Why should we have labels anyway? Sexuality is flexible, etc etc". Some of the best dates ever were based on letting go of restrictions like labels.
However, I think there is a core of people who are simply not going to go there. Lesbian, straight or bi, they've got their sexuality pretty much hard-wired into their brains, and all the sex/dating trends in the world isn't gonna change that. This is why I still believe that sexuality is for the most part in the genes, not by choice. If you don't like hooking up with dudes, all of the social factors that can be thrown at you won't change your mind.
People's idea of a fine romance is deeply personal. If a self-professed lesbian wants to hook up with a guy from time to time, that doesn't change who she is or her sexual outlook. Yeah, it's kind of silly to think of these encounters as trendy (in the same way that Yoplaits were trendy), but that's up to the individual and Dan Savage to describe it that way.
Posted by Glen at July 12, 2007 2:47 AM
