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March 5, 2008
How Many Times Have You Said, "Don't Let Me Go?"
I don't know what my problem is today, but I just can't quite force myself to be optimistic. I suppose I'm always a little on the cynical side, but I think I usually manage to keep a stiff upper lip, so to speak. I guess I'm just having a bit of a rough time lately. I've met some cool gals through dating personals, which is a good thing. Ironically, the problems is that I liked a couple of them rather a lot. It's hard to try and keep your dignity when someone you're interested in is confidently walking away from you and you have to stop yourself from saying something like, "don't let me go."
I know it's not fashionable to be bitter, but I think the constant expectation that everyone be optimistic and positive is a little absurd. There are days when asking someone to be confident and optimistic is like asking them not to learn.
I really do think you have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. You have to assume a new person will treat you with respect, otherwise your punishing them for something that someone else did. On the other hand, when you keep meeting people, over and over again, that seem to be nice, interesting, thoughtful people and each time they treat you badly, you start questioning things. Everyone you meet is different and you're the common factor so it's hard not to get a little depressed and assume you're doing something wrong.
If you check out some dating guides, they'll all tell you confidence is attractive. Ironically, I think that's the problem. We're attracted to people that seem confident and stable. The problem is that a lot of people who seem confident achieve that impression by dismissing anyone that seems to present a challenge.
What I mean is that it can be hard to distinguish between true confidence and arrogance or a false confidence that hides a fearful and vindictive personality. I think, honestly, that a lot of people go out of their way to make other people feel bad so that they can consider themselves superior.
Like I said, I'm a little bitter these days. I'm just tired thinking the words "don't let me go" as someone ditches me for some reason that is, to me, mysterious. It's hard enough being rejected without having to assume it's your fault.
All I'm really trying to say is that it might be time for us all to ease up on each other a bit. My theory is that when have great expectations, poor results soon follow. That is to say, when you meet someone that puts on an air of confidence and we expect them to be as good as they think they are, what we get is some kind of disappointment. Meanwhile we're overlooking people whose egos aren't so inflated when they're probably better people who would actually appreciate a good thing when they see it.
Maybe I'm all wrong, but it's something to think about and, right now, it's the only idea I have that’s keeping me from getting irredeemably bitter.
Posted by Leon at March 5, 2008 2:52 AM
