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February 28, 2007
How to Get Over a Relationship
Back on February 7, I turned 35. Someone famous born on the some day, albeit 150 years before me, was Charles Dickens. I tried reading one of his books for independent study project in high school but cheated and watched a videotape of miniseries based Great Expectations instead. Nevertheless, between the video and some Cliffs Notes, I perused, I feel as if I actually remember Mr. Dickens actual Dickensian prose.
At any rate, Chucky D was great at writing about the struggle to rise above one's social rank. His characters after some success or at least, good fortune would mistakenly swell with false pride. Then, usually, something would happen to lower them, at least temporarily back towards humbler beginnings. Having lost wealth and prestige, his protagonists would learn that financial riches or societal status were meaningless without the support of trustworthy family or friends.
Normally, in the end, it would all work out. Through the right marriage or other, lucky happenstance with a newly regained sense of humility and gratitude, the main character would have everything restored to him or her. Since Dickens' tales were always rather long and involved, veritable tombs (way too long for me to read when I was 18), the twist at the end seemed almost believable despite the happy ending.
If I had to describe my life right now, I'd call the book Great Expectations, Poor Results. That sounds bleaker than Bleak House, but in reality, I think that I've been misled at times by the sort of philosophy Mr. D seemed to espouse. Charles was right to remind us that pride commeth before the fall, but his rags to riches stories relied too heavily on individuals fated to meet the right person from their past.
Today happens to be the birthday of the only person with whom I ever felt in love. I still miss the relationship even if I realize, it isn't a true case of one that got away. A view shared by my ex and many close friends. On one count, since not letting someone go is often a matter of pride, Dickens was right about what damage it can bring.
However, he still believed in fate, reunited family or lovers and the reparative powers of realizing that true love overcomes all trials and tribulations. Part of me wants to reach out to my past, but wishful thinking and hoping to regain what is lost wouldn't lead to a brilliant outcome. To succeed in life, I must continue to move on. That's better than hoping unrequited love will someday miraculously become requited. Maybe tonight, when I'm still feeling sentimental, I'll raise my glass to realistic expectations instead.
Posted by Will at February 28, 2007 3:44 PM
