Cupids Dating Blog

I never thought about interracial gay relationships much until I found myself in one. My partner at the time, an Asian cutie I'll call Lee, explained to me his experience being a minority within a minority. He wasn't accepted in the Chinese community because he was gay, and he was a second-class citizen among gays because he wasn't white.

Lee once asked me if I was with him because he was Asian. I thought the question was absurd at first. However, he showed me the issues that surround interracial gay couples and I realized something about myself. Race isn't a concern for me when I'm looking for a guy. I was lucky to grow up in a multicultural environment so that sort of thing was always taken for granted. A guy's either attractive or not — a white dude can be just as unattractive as a brother of any other color. Don't get me wrong, different races have their benefits. I hated the fact that Lee smoked but I loved the way it made his skin smell. Smoking never had that effect on any of my white partners.

Lee went on to tell me that a lot of gay men have a fetish for Asians, because of their hairless, smooth skin or because of their seemingly submissive nature. Of course, not all Asians are bottoms just as not all black guys have massive 10-inch penises. The stereotyping of racial minorities by gays is just as bad as the homophobia that exists among macho, straight African-American men. Both groups should know better because they are both victims of discrimination.

I don't mean to go off on a preachy social rant, but we've got enough barriers to deal with trying to find Mr. Right (or Mr. Right Now). Why make gay dating extra hard on ourselves by letting racist B.S. fill our heads? We don't let it stop us from finding gay friends. Look at it this way, if we had let popular opinion decide who we can date, we'd all be dating women, wouldn't we?

(In case you were wondering, my Asian ex was three years older than me and I was the healthy, athletic one in the relationship.)