« My Goal Of Becoming A Sexy Man | Main | Striking Out With A Beautiful Spanish Girl »
September 21, 2011
I May Not Be The Best When It Comes To Giving Arab Relationship Advice
I've got a friend who is just a little bit peeved with me this week. To be fair, I butted in when I should have butted out, so it's not like he's in the wrong. He was having trouble with this woman he met on a dating site that leads to relationships. He was worried he might be moving too fast and didn't want to risk insulting her family members. I told him that if she really liked him enough, she should be willing tell her family to relax and accept that they're dating. At first he was reluctant to say so, but I insisted. Let's just say he won't be coming to me for Arab relationship advice any time soon.
If there's one thing you need to know about good relationships that involve Arab people it's that the family always comes first, even when that family can be nuttier than a bag of pistachios. So if you plan on giving someone guidance in regards to how to deal with that family, basically, you would normally offer the exact opposite of what I did. In other words, recommend ideas that help your friend connect with that family better so that they'll approve of the relationship.
Arab relationship advice may not be my forte, but I do know something about building relationships in general. If there's one rule I keep repeating often enough to sound like a skipping MP3 player it's that you should always be honest. This doesn't just mean you should never lie to your partners, but also voice your opinions whenever you're really concerned about something.
While some might argue that this could be counterproductive in regards to giving good Arab relationship advice, I stand firm in my belief that if you can't speak equally and freely on any concerns you may have, then you've given too much power to your partner and you're not in a real, adult relationship. Doing so is always catastrophic in the end. If you can't point out how you're feeling, then you're just a trophy lover of some kind.
How does all this relate to my friend? Essentially, he should have spoken with his partner about how he was worried about the influence her family had on their relationship. Together, they should have searched for a way to make both themselves and the family happy. Instead, I basically told him to cease that power I just mentioned neither of them should have. She's quite upset with him and, in turn, he with me for giving him such terrible advice. However, if they can learn to communicate better, I'm sure they'll be able to get over this obstacle. That only seems to exist because I gave it to them. Sorry guys!
Posted by brian at September 21, 2011 2:26 AM
