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June 10, 2005
Instant Messaging: Polite Computer Conversation
If you use and instant messaging program, you know what I mean when it comes to manners. Just because you’re not sitting in front of someone doesn’t mean that they’re not sitting there expecting things from you – such as attention to conversation.
I generally don’t have a problem with it with friends, but I pay close attention to it with new connections. Case in point:
I logged on to a dating site the other day and had a message in my inbox. It was from this pretty girl living the next city over who worked as a project manager for a large construction company. We started chatting online over MSN Messenger. She was at work and clearly very busy. I, too, was in the middle of my workday. She would leave a message and then disappear offline only to come back and start a different conversation. This went on a number of times before I finally had to tell her that her instant messaging manners were really poor. She agreed and said she’d pay more attention. The next conversation, she wandered off again so I blocked her for the day. The next day it happened again and she got the boot from my list.
Some may call me an IM Nazi – and maybe I am. But I have expectations of the company I keep and I don’t think that you can just discount it because it’s a different form of communication. Do you?
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at June 10, 2005 11:52 AM
Comments
I agree with you totally on that. That actually happens to me quite a bit, and it is very aggravating..I know if you were to do something like that while you were talking in person or on the phone, the other person would get quite pissed off, so why do it while you're talking on the internet, you can just say "I'm kinda busy right now, could we chat later?"
Posted by: Marcee at June 10, 2005 1:58 PM
I agree. The people with whom I IM [mind you, these are friends who know me, not people whom I've just met] know that I'm usually surfing or writing or otherwise multi-tasking while I'm on my computer. I am *never* doing only one thing at once. However, I can see how it might put someone off who didn't know me if I wasn't responding to them as we IMed. If someone did that to me, it would definitely give me the impression that they didn't like me and I would simply stop bothering them and go away.
*ahem*
Posted by: K. Leigh at June 10, 2005 8:09 PM
Marcee:
I agree with letting them know - but do you think "I'm busy, could we chat later" carries some negative energy (I'm not one to talk about "energy" but it seems to fit well here) with it that could hurt a relatioship?
Ms. Leigh:
That *ahem* better not have been meant for me! :P
Posted by: Doug at June 13, 2005 11:35 AM
