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November 2, 2005
Language Barriers
Have you ever dated someone from a different country – someone who doesn’t speak the same language as you or doesn’t speak it nearly as well? I dated a number of girls from different countries when I was younger. They were all very nice and the accents and mystery around them made them quite compelling. It was always good for a while. We managed to chat despite all the difficulties in communication and shared laughs and love – but at some point things changed.
I found those barriers to communication to be such a burden. I need to express myself to whomever I’m with. I also need them to be able to tell me everything on their minds. Normally, dating sites bring together people who live in close proximity but they also open the door to foreign connections that can be made half way around the world – or just down the street. This can be especially such as Asian dating sites or Latin personals sites. Language is one of those barriers that are really hard to cross. Sure, you can learn each other’s languages – but that takes time. Maybe if you spoke the same language, you might find out sooner that the person you’re with isn’t right for you. Anyway, it was just something on my mind and I thought I would share. If anyone has any experience with this, I’m all ears!
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at November 2, 2005 2:04 PM
Comments
I've never dated anyone from another country, although I've slept with a Dane and a Frenchman. Somehow, I think the language / culture barrier would prove too much - despite having studied languages at uni. OK so I'm a hypocrite...
Posted by: Illegally Blonde at November 2, 2005 7:05 PM
I have, in several directions. What's been most problematic has actually been somebody that was originally american and has halfway learned my language (norwegian).
She'd lived here for quite a few years, understood norwegian perfectly, and wrote perfectly (with a large vocabulary) - and it was quite difficult to understand her spoken norwegian. I speak english fairly well and could understand her english perfectly - yet, it felt sort of insulting to her to keep to english all the time when she spoke norwegian with everybody else, and she was always switching back to norwegian with me too... That's at least part of the reason nothing more happened with us.
I've dated american and british women that couldn't speak norwegian at all, and that's been much easier.
-Eek
Posted by: Eek at November 3, 2005 6:32 PM
Yes, it is a big problem for people from different countries.
Not only language barrier, dont forget about culture and menthal differents.
Posted by: foreign brides blog at November 7, 2005 5:06 AM
My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me for a girl that speaks nothing but spanish. I guess she is from venezulia. He takes her out to expensive dinners and she gives him nothing in return. ( if you know what i mean. I know I shouldn't care but I was just wondering if she is possibly an illegal immigrant. I heard she is about 25 and why in the world would she move to florida? Please respond somebody. He is full american and knows absolutely no spanish. What is going on?
Posted by: christina at November 29, 2006 1:51 PM
I wouldn't think too much on it Christina. Best just to let it go. He wasn't the one for you. The one you'll spend the rest of your life with is out there--and he offers you so much more than this last guy could ever hope to. Trust me on this one. You deserve, and will find, someone so much more worthy of you. You'll see ;)
Posted by: Tyric at November 30, 2006 12:27 PM
Thank you for your advice. I moved to another state and he calls me every other day. He denies that he still seeing her and his famiy told me that he brought her over there for thanksgivng dinner. I asked him about that and he denies it. Why is he doing that? He is confusing me. i dont know what to do. I miss him and his family and also my dog. I try to move on but i cant. Help!!!
Posted by: christina at December 3, 2006 3:18 PM
I've seen that a thousand times. Trust me on this: cut him off. He's only concerned with his feelings. He ended things. He has caused you pain. Most importantly, he lies. That's all you need to know. This isn’t the type of person you should be spending a single second with. You get to choose whether or not you want more pain or more happiness from now on. Cut him off and you choose happiness. Keep in contact with him and you welcome pain. There are no solutions to this problem that will make you feel fantastic. There's only the lesser of two evils. The choice is yours…
Posted by: Tyric at December 4, 2006 11:10 AM
Well, I have an update. I have met some great people where I moved too and am already intersted in somebody else. Me ex stills call me but my mind seems to wonder when I speak to him. I still remain friends but nothing more. I know soon though we will not speak anymore. His friends call me and tell me he his planning to marry to this girl and I dont feel that knot in my stomach. You are 100% right. He is a liar and I dont want him back. I talk to him about once a week and know that it will eventually lead into nothing. I appreciate all your advice and I am a lot stronger now and things can only get better from here and they are. I am going to take things slow and will keep you updated. Thank you again
Posted by: christina at December 20, 2006 11:49 PM
I am kind of dating a Korean "fob" and I am an American girl. I actually love it when my boyfriend is from another country and his english isn't perfect. I think it is cute. But sometimes I do get frusterated when he doesn't understand what I am saying. I mostly like dating Asian men, because I find them to be more sensitive. I would recommend at least trying to date someone who is from another country, because it is worth the extra effort and by learning each others' language you become closer then ever. :)
I hope this helps
Posted by: foblover at May 18, 2009 9:50 PM
