Cupids Dating Blog

A therapist once said to me, "It's easier to deal with what you already think you understand. Better the devil you know than the one that you don't. You're afraid of the unpredictable future so you live in the past."

I really took that statement to heart. I've done my best to let go and move on. I thought I had succeeded in some ways when it came to my last relationship. I've talked a lot about it but have felt relatively detached.

Then this past weekend I ran into a tipsy friend of my ex. I promptly avoided him like the plague. My ex hates being gossiped about and I hardly needed a drunken play-by-play on how many rising young stars had tried out to replace me in my former role in one of my ex's many short-lived drama-filled romances.

I managed to escape one bad trip down memory lane but the next evening, a stranger in a local bar approached me as if we knew each other from somewhere. Eventually, I realized it was the ex of my ex. I had forgotten of the one time he met me when I still stood loving alongside my ex.

Despite my cautious avoidance the night previous, I soon found myself engaging in sad commiseration with this other ex. As each bitter recollection came to light, somewhere our unassuming former flame's ears must have been burning as our own tempers flared.

Then the biggest revelation came. During their two or three year relationship, the instability and moodiness of our unstable, parallel paramour received diagnosis of being maniac-depressive but decided to never undergo any treatment.

Suddenly, so many things that had happened during our tumultuous relationship made sense but my reaction to this gift of hindsight didn't. I felt a renewed wave of sadness, rejection and disappointment over parting ways with my ex. After all, memory is a funny thing and the truth won't always set you free.