Cupids Dating Blog

Hello again my dear,

I have never heard that expression about the leaky cork. If you invented that, kudos, dahlink! What a beautiful metaphor... of course, it makes me think of red wine, yet another beautiful invention in this life... *salivates*

I was a classic rebounder for all of my life, and, now that I am single and have been for six or seven months, I can see why so many of the people in my life were concerned each time I jumped into something new after such short spans of time. I never allowed myself time to grieve what I had lost, then I literally lost myself in people, giving them everything I had to give, because I thought that was what love was. After about three or four months of being on my own and living without a mate [the latter, for the first time since I was twenty-one], however, I now understand that it should be give AND take, not just givegivegive all the time. Also, I now know better who I am, and, truth be told, I kinda like her.

The point I'm trying to make here is that, in my humble opinion [hahaha], "rebounding" is fine, provided you have given yourself enough of an opportunity to grieve, and, more importantly, enough time to have learned from your previous experience. For example, having spent all of this "time off", so to speak, I now have a better [self-] portrait of who I am, which means that I know on what I can and cannot compromise. That doesn't mean that I will never take a chance again [I'm a risk-taker and a Scorpio, after all] with respect to certain aspects of me - love makes us all do crazy things - it only means that I will not be walking into something quite as blindly as I did in my past.

Phew. *wipes forehead* Glad I got that out of my system.

<3

P.S. My blog is used primarily for venting, thus, reading it may give you the wrong impression regarding who I am and what I stand for as it tends to be [though not always] a rather dark place on the World Wide Web. I write about my "issues", which we all have and realize if we're introspective enough... At any rate, if you really want to see it, then check the history on your computer. It's likely the only xanga site there.

I'm surprised you've made it this long without a solid rebound! My hats off to you. I rebounded qie quickly after my last breakup. Two relationships in two months, the latter of which lasted a year. She qualifies as a rebound because there was 13 years difference between us and therefor impossible in my mind. We still chat, but probably the best rebound of my life!

PS: gotcha on the blog - just figured I'd throw it out there ;)

I dont think I could put it any better myself.. I am guilty guilty guilty of being a rebound chick... but I am not sure i have ever regretted it. There is lessons to be found in each decision and a reason for meeting each person in your life... do what feels best to you :)

Wait - you have rebounds or you are the rebound? Eitehr is kool - just trying to see through the haze!

Rebound relationships can also be the result of trying to make up for lost time spent mourning the previous relationship.

The object of the rebounder,

My ex-fiancee, who failed to mention that he had only been single all of 8 hours before he met me, was on the rebound. He asked me to marry him after 8 hours, I agreed. Our relationship was a beautiful marriage of Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Grigio; until the party ended and he bailed on me and returned to his ex-girlfriened. Now, 13K in debt and heartbroken, I am left to pick up the pieces of Hurricane Soulmates; word to the wise--Don't ever get involved with someone whose mother still lives with his ex.

I broke up too with my ex 2 weeks ago.. then I met this guy last year and started texting him when my ex and I broke up. He offered himself as my moving on buddy. We talked over the phone and texted.We really had nice conversations. We dont know if we fall in love with each other someday. Now, no texts no phone calls. He's gone.. Maybe he thinks im using him to get over with my ex. Or he's afraid that ill fall in love with him but in the end I might realize that im not really in love with him... :(

I split with my partner that I lived with for 8 yrs 8 months ago. He was my best friend but I had gradually got fed up with him because he became complacent in our relationship so last summer I met someone at my work place who was really lovely too me and made me feel special and he was bloody stunning. As soon as I realised that something was going to happen between me and the knew man I split with my boyfriend and then launched in to an 8 month relationship with the new man.
Now I have just split with the new man, my decision, I am not over the ex and this has proven to be very confusing and unfair to my ex me and the new man who has fallen in love with me! Just to complicate matters I have realised that I still love my ex!!!!!!!!!

Too summarise, think twice before entering a rebound relationship for many reasons:

1. If you care for you ex and you may want to have a friendship or sort out your relationship then you may jepordise this.
2. You may lose mutual friends.
3. You may end up breaking someone else's heart without meaning too and this feels super shit I can tell you!
4. You end up feeling really shit and have two relationships to get over.
5. You haven't given yourself time to come to terms with the failure of you last love relationship - you must feel these feelings in order to move forward!!

I'm sorry to hear about your woes Vanessa! But... isn't the idea of a rebound relationship to find someone AFTER a relationship has ended, not during?? ;) I think what you did was more 'bed hopping.' That has a time and place, too, I think, but certainly is more dangerous when you hop from a boyfriend's bed into a fling than when you're single and in an empty bed and hop into another thats got a warm body in it!

my ex and I just broke up about 2 months ago. we moved in together just to see if we could live with each other after 14 months of dating. I'm glad that we did that even though a lot of my friends told me not to. But I didn't want to waste any time if she wasn't the one for me. Anyway, now I'm single and available, so I have been talking to a few girls at this time and I really think it's helping me to get over my break up. I have heard that rebound dating can be bad sometimes, but I think I have been getting some positive results with my rebound relationships. I'm gradually moving on from my ex because I'm busy dating other girls. If it weren't for these rebound relationships I would be very depressed right now because I was really in love with my ex. and I do still think about her sometimes. But I think one thing we have to do is that let your rebound person know you just just broke up with someone and you are not ready for anything serious at this time. It's your responsibility to tell the other person the truth! If you can do that, I think rebound dating is not a bad thing at all!
Anyway, I hope everyone here will be happy rebounding!

i myself iam guilty of this sin ,for years i think i been doing this ,but the hard thing is facing the lonelyness that comes from breaking up with some one you care about,right this moment iam with someone just because iwas lonely,ineed to tell her how i feel.then i met someone who i have intrest in but she to just came out of a bad relationship,the neet thing about this girl is that she told me she did not want to hurt my feelings,so it was best that we maintain friend for right now but we really like each other.

i was with my boyfriend for over 3 yrs, we had a great relationship we were bestfriends and madly in love were both 21.Then i realised he was being quite distant from me since he started his new job,we broke up a month ago and he broke my heart. He had a new girlfriend within a week which is still hard to deal with. i dont even know who she is(im guessing shes someone he had lined up who he worked with)i didnt think i could even go near anyboby else because i was so distraut until i met this guy who i was seeing over 3 years ago,before the ex. we got talking and it was as if we had never been away from eachother.if it was any old guy i would say he is a rebound but because ive always liked him so much and he is someone who i have never stoped thinking about even through my 3yr relationship i think i genuinly like him. trouble is i now think the new guy thinks hes just a rebound to me and he is being a bit distant.i dont know what to do about this one.am i on the rebound or is he just not into me?

Rebound love is a lie, a self-serving "love" that is not fair to any parties involved. It's really about someone in the relationship needing someone, anyone to help them get over their ex. It's rarely real "love" where you find a genuine connection with someone and it grows and develops into a lasting bond. Don't be the victim or perpetrator of this lie..

I was married to my high school love for 11 years. When our marriage ended most of the love was gone and I couldn't stand my ex. Anyway, this handsome guy I work with started flirting with me...it was an instant attraction. We started going on out and the relationship escalated. We had an on and off relationship for the past 6 month because I really started to cling to him. So we backed off and this time I think it's for good(although he bought me a valentine). I know I wasn't being fair to him, but lonely has set in and I miss him terribly:(