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February 9, 2007
No Means No
Dating sites offer an interesting look into the psychology of both men and women. I can’t tell you how many women complain to me about men who message them over and over, despite the lack of response on their part. Some even complain about guys who they’ve been up front with who still continue to write and send IM requests. Has their instant messaging manners and general dating etiquette gone out the window? Is it that these men are incapable of understanding that no means no? Do they really think that no means that it is suddenly a game that they stand a chance at winning? Or are they convinced that with nothing to lose, you should try anything and everything to get what you want?
I just finished watching Blood or Chocolate. In it, a boy meets a girl. The girl brushes him off once, twice and a third time but his persistence in the end wins him a date. It’s a cute story. We feel for the guy because he is able to overcome rejection. Part of it is, though, that he is trying to convince her of something she is supposed to already want. Yet the portrayal of the character, like so many we’ve all seen before in films, leaves no doubt that no meant no. And yet the boy still manages to land a date and she spends what seems like many agonizing and excited moments preparing for it. The message being sent is that no, at least in some situations, means yes. Could instances like this be responsible for so much strife on dating websites?
I should note that there are women out there, too, who fit this mould. I’ve met a number of them. But compare the two and you’ll probably find that there are more men who think no means yes than women. Is it the dumb hunter in us?
If I’m off base, feel free to tell me now. Use the box below…
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at February 9, 2007 5:46 PM
