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January 8, 2008
Older Women Younger Man Relationships
More and more of the people I know are looking for relationships with older partners and are having a hard time dealing with the assumptions and prejudices that go along with these relationships. Relationships between older men and younger women are often looked upon suspiciously. Older women younger man relationships don't seem to be subjected to these suspicions and are often sought out in dating personals.
I suppose the attraction for anyone looking to date and older person, whether in older women younger man relationships or the reverse, is that the assume they will meet someone more emotionally mature and stable than their contemporaries. Sadly, however, this doesn't always work out.
I have a good friend that is generally attracted to older women, but his last relationship ended rather terribly. He was really in love with the woman he was involved with and the age gap wasn't at all an issue for him. At first, it didn't matter to her either.
I think the reason most people assume relationships between two people of different ages won't last is because people tend to think the older person isn't really looking for something serious. However, in the case of my friend's last relationship it really came down to the issue of trust in relationships. His older girlfriend, once she started to develop strong feelings for him, couldn't believe she was really what he wanted. She became increasingly jealous, assuming he'd leave her for another, younger woman.
I suppose it's true that people that have been around longer are generally more emotionally mature and confident. On the other hand, the older we get the more we tend to get set in our ways and we also get, perhaps, a little more cynical. This woman just couldn't take my friends sincerity at face value. She became more and more suspicious that was going to cheat on her. Eventually, the unwarranted jealousy became too much for him and he broke it off.
I think my friend's story is particularly sad. I think the two of them really cared for each other. My friend really has no interest for women is own age as he finds that they generally lack the confidence and sophistication he finds so appealing. If his ex had been a little more willing to trust him rather than her assumptions, then it might all have worked out. It's sad they broke up, but I'm sure he'll be able to find someone with a little more emotional maturity to match the life-experience they bring to the relationship.
Posted by Leon at January 8, 2008 2:00 AM
