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July 10, 2007
Our BHM's Big Dreams Missed
I recently discovered one of those ever-so-popular social networking sites. I had avoided them all for so long. However, I finally got to thinking about the girl who lived next door to me back in high school, so I finally gave in hoping to look her up. Lo and behold, I found her, along with many others from my past, which of course, knowing me has caused a minor existential crisis.
I keep telling you all that I don't mind flying solo, but when I start to realize how many past pals from my youth are married with families, I begin to wonder what's up with me. Let's be honest, I might not have been actively pursuing dates as of late, but I'm not always sure that's a legitimate excuse for my bachelorhood. I mean, it's not as if I've been declining dates, right, left and center, either.
Many fellows enjoy the excitement of the chase, but I prefer to be the one pursued, which isn't always the most plausible scenario to expect will ensue. Nevertheless, I do loads of sitting quietly looking friendly in public places hoping that someone special will just happen along and ask me what I'm smiling to myself about. Then again, those around me probably just think I'm crazy rather than contented, when I seem to be grinning for no reason.
Once again while I was out last Friday night, I saw, not just one, but two of my exes. I already explained that I'm not the best at remaining friends after a breakup, although I guess I might say I would be politely friendly at least. Nevertheless, neither one of them seemed to acknowledge seeing me, which I'm sure was for the best. I was feeling a tad sad about being single and desperation often leads me to seek out the familiar.
I'm fortunate the one ex with whom I stay in touch the most would never be tempting to me again as a romantic partner. Otherwise, I'm sure I'm one of those insecure guys that when faced with a period of low self-esteem would consider dating the frex, just to avoid being alone. Luckily, after doing the on and off again thing last summer with someone, I know now, once is enough.
Anyway, you know it's the same-old, same-old. I should stop smoking, but haven't lost the weight I gained last month on vacation. I should repaint my apartment. What's the point before stopping cigarettes? I don't need to join Big Cupid to find someone who loves my body the way it is. I need to join some dating with the word slacker in the title to meet some enabler to love my lack of motivation.
Posted by Will at July 10, 2007 1:01 AM
