Cupids Dating Blog

I'm not happy-go-lucky now. However, I struggle less with unhappiness since I've accepted that meeting someone new for either a casual fling or something more meaningful, has no effect on how I treat myself. Other induced lifts to self-esteem don't take the place of making positive changes or important decisions for oneself.

Last weekend, I went out friends, one of whom has a few problems with her boyfriend. After less than a year of dating, they've been contemplating marriage and it seems as if probably in another year, they'll get married. However, without going into details, they don't agree on many fundamental issues.

My friend explained that she is quite upset that her possible future husband is not only inflexible regarding his personal views, but also unwilling to discuss her differing take on life. She feels sometimes thoughtlessly dismissed without her opinion being heard.

I said that she still has time to change her mind before saying I do. From my perspective, her wannabe hubby is treating her with limited respect, regardless of perhaps claiming and believing to hold her in high esteem. Since he wants a family, some consensus is needed to decide how to bring one up together.

She agreed, but countered that he treated her better than previous partners had. I recognized myself in her words, willing to settle for better than worse, even if it isn't good. The road to romance is paved with promises and good intentions. I've broken so many well-intentioned promises even to myself that I know someday, sometimes means as good, as never.

Most people want to believe the lies they tell themselves, so that what they pledge to other people will be true. I told her that nothing feels lonelier, than being alone when you're with someone. I wish I had convinced her, but chances are she still secretly hopes that even though she knows she can't change him, maybe her boyfriend will smarten up to avoid losing her.

Alas, I've lost and loved many times, but any intelligent progress made has occurred despite, not because, of romantic setbacks. I wish my own lack of judgment in the past could resolve her dilemma. If only 20-20 hindsight could be shared like a pair of eyeglasses, but each person needs their own prescription fitted.