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March 9, 2011
Scoring A Date With An Erotic Older Man
So I have what my ex likes to refer to as a "fun friend." For those wondering what that means, it's a person who you only keep in touch with basically to have recreational sex with from time to time. Depending on the "friendship" in question, you don't even keep in touch at all: the only conversations the two of you have are the phone call organizing the next hookup. When I sent the fun friend that I met on a sex dating site a request for romp in the sack, I got a little jealous that she had prior arrangement with an erotic older guy.
She met him on the same hookups site, so I suppose I should have seen it coming. I don't even know why I was expecting otherwise. I think I was just upset because I wouldn't be lucking out that night. After all, I did have quite the sexy fantasy planned out.
My idea of a wild booty call consists of the following: first, I pick up my phone. Then, I start dialing the numbers until I hear a dial tone. Sometimes, I'll spice thing up by whistling while I wait for her to pick up. Once my fun friend answers, I woo her with a lusty "It's me. I'm single and horny right now. Wanna come over?" Once she says yes, I unlock my apartment door, get the condoms and wait for her to show up. Classic romance, right?
Okay, so it's not the classiest of encounters, but when all you want to do is practice your French kissing techniques, it gets the job the done. Sometimes I even get it done twice in one evening! So needless to say, this so-called erotic older man who I have never met and therefore technically have nothing against, has made quite the enemy in me.
Alright, so I'm obviously being unfair and exaggerating a little. Well, quite a bit, actually. But let's see you all set and ready to do the horizontal hoo-ha, only to get find out you'll have to break out a magazine and a bottle of lotion instead. That gets the job done too, but it's nowhere near as fun!
So my hat is tipped to this mysterious erotic older stud. Having experienced my gal pal's spectacular nookie skills and tasty cookie in the past, I know he's in for quite the treat by becoming one of her fun friends. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go experience myself until I can make another fun friend of my own.
Posted by brian at March 9, 2011 2:05 AM
