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January 15, 2008
Socially Awkward, But Awesome, Fit Guy
Sometimes the world just doesn't make sense to me. I'm not naive and I don't expect the world to actually turn out the way I think it should, but on the other hand it's difficult to deal with a world that defies all logic. I have this awesome friend who has the most difficult time hitting it of with girls. He's a nice, thoughtful, educated, well-off and fit guy, but something always goes wrong. It's got nothing to do with his looks, he's the kind of guy you'd probably expect to meet if you're into fitness dating. I think it's just that he doesn't understand how to interact with someone for whom he has feelings.
I describe him as socially awkward, but really only in this one specific sense. He's got a great personality. I know that sounds like the kind of thing one says to avoid talking about looks, but like I said, he's a really fit guy. Seriously, he has a great personality. He knows how to stand up for himself and he isn't particularly shy. Whenever we're out together, he's the one with the knack for starting up conversations with strangers.
It's not a matter of being intimidated by women either. He has lots of female friends, although I suppose, to be fair, most of them have boyfriends. Maybe he is more comfortable when everything is settled and he doesn't have to worry about who is interested in who.
Come to think of it, maybe he just has trouble reading the body language that goes on between people who are at that critical state of figuring out whether or not they are interested in each other. I remember running into him when he was out with a really cute woman who seemed to be very interested in him. When I talked to him a couple of days later and asked how things had gone, he said that he was really interested in her, but that he didn't think she felt at all the same way. So maybe he just needs some advice on flirting so he can stop sending the wrong signals and be sure about the signals he's being given.
I suspect he always has a tendency to assume that girls aren't interested in him. It isn't really a matter of confidence so much as he wants to make sure he doesn't make anyone uncomfortable. Anyone that he asks out, he already thinks highly of, so I imagine he is really concerned about ruining his friendships by being overly forward. All talk of equality aside, I think men are still expected to be the ones who do the chasing, so if you always err on the side of caution it must be really hard to make the right moves at the right moments. I wish people weren't so quick to assume others aren't interested and that being someone's friend didn't quell, in their minds, all romantic possibilities. If people were a little more reasonable and more open it would be a lot easier to be straightforward. My fit-guy friend would be a lot more comfortable and, I think, we would probably all be more relaxed.
Posted by Leon at January 15, 2008 2:39 AM
