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August 27, 2007
Sweet Gay Guys Like It Slow
So I'm supposed to write about how to date a sweet gay guy. Does such a thing exist? Maybe I'm too jaded. Okay, let me take a deep breath and remember the wise words of gay dating advice from a great fag hag I know. "When you meet someone new, forget everything who know and everything you've experienced and start completely fresh with that person." In other words, don't pile your old baggage on the new guy. He may very well be the sweet guy you've always been looking for.
I shouldn't play bitter because I have to admit, I've come across my share of sweeties. I've come across my share of princess and drama queens, too, but there are plenty of sweet guys out there. The thing about them is they're usually overlooked because they don't expect to be the center of attention.
The problem with gay guys, and keep in mind I'm generalizing here, is that they're men, and men tend to think with their dicks instead of their heads. My lesbian friend says the difference between gays and lesbians is that gay guys sleep with each other and then talk, and lesbians talk and then sleep with each other. I have to admit there's some truth in that.
One of the most important things to remember when you find a sweet gay guy is that he is incredibly emotional and these emotions are bound to his physical state. You can't expect to sleep with him without him getting attached to you. Don't mess with his head. Take time to get to know him before you jump in the hay. Give him time to get to know you, too, so he can really get to know you apart from the romantic Prince Charming fantasy he began building in his head the moment you met.
The fact that this sweet guy has managed to resist being influenced by all the selfish, shallow, sex-obsessed characteristics that dominate the gay scene makes him very special. Keep that in mind and treat him with the sensitivity that he needs. Be patient and wait for him to push things to the next level. I once had a sweet guy invite me to hang out at his place. In the typical circumstance, this is an invitation for sex, however, I knew he wasn't the typical guy. When I got there we watched a movie together and he ended up falling asleep with his head in my lap and me brushing my fingers through his hair. I made him feel calm and secure because I didn't force any on him.
For more helpful hints to keep in mind, check out our article Top 10 Gay Dating Tips.
Posted by Rick at August 27, 2007 2:00 AM
Comments
Great blog! You described me perfectly. I wish I could find another "sweet gay guy". In my never ending search for another one of these illusive people, one of the influences you mention, "selfish, shallow, sex-obsessed characteristics", seems to show itself one way or another. Being one of these people, who is not motivated by sex, money, or drugs (the bar scene only has people looking for 1 of these 3 things in trade for another one of the 3), I have found my life to be miserable and lonely. Anyone know of a dating site/service for people who just want to snuggle? I didn't think so....
Still, your article is awesome and gives me some hope... Thank you Rick.
Posted by: Sean at February 21, 2008 7:33 PM
