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October 24, 2007
The Politics Of Picking A Date Movie
Ok, if you're trying to pick a date movie when you're going out with someone for the first time, your natural tendency is to try and find something you'll both like. It's natural for you to want things to go well and for you to want your date to have a good time. If she does, she'll just may end up liking you. Ideally, you and your date have enough common interests that finding something you both like won't be too hard. On the other hand, if you've been out a couple of times and you're pressed for a choice, one idea is to use the movie as a screening process. I'm not suggesting that you should ignore other people's tastes, but it's pretty common to see lists of movies in dating personals, so films must be important to people. It seems to me that, at the end of the day, you can say a lot about who you are by showing off what you like and explaining why you like it, even if it's a matter of disagreement.
The problem, as you can see in politics, is that trying to find something palatable for everyone is next to impossible if you're going to pick a date movie that's worth anything. I read once that Quentin Tarantino said: "When I'm getting serious about a girl, I show her Rio Bravo and she better [. . .] like it." Now I'm not a huge fan of westerns, and maybe Tarantino isn't the best source of relationship advice, but he might be on to something. There are some things, whether a movie, book or a great piece of art, that move you so much that it's hard to imagine anyone can really understand you if you they don't understand what it is you appreciate.
A good relationship should involve a bit of spirited debate. It's true that two people can't, and shouldn't, be expected to like all the same things, but sometimes understanding people's tastes is as important as knowing what they are. I've had as many fun conversations based on disagreement as I've had based on mutual agreement. There are all kinds of reasons to not like things, and they may overpower the positive points, but understanding the root of people's tastes probably goes a long way towards understanding the individual.
Picking a date movie to make a point probably isn't the best idea when you first meet someone, and maybe this is all just a bad idea spawned by the fact that I find Tarantino funny, but it's another way to think about movies and dating.
Posted by Leon at October 24, 2007 2:07 AM
