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May 11, 2005
Thoughts on Love and Life
I’ve often found that meeting people naturally doesn’t
happen naturally for me. I mean I make “friends” easily enough,
at least those co-workers, neighbours and coffee shop folks that populate that
vague level of friendship that lies somewhere between complete stranger and
best friend for life. I wouldn’t die for these people, but I do genuinely
feel concerned for their well being and feel the same in return. When it comes
to romantic connections, I find it isn’t so easy.
Generally, we’re discouraged from trying to rework the simple relationships in life into more meaningful ones. You’re not supposed to date colleagues from your job or your good friends. Even if it’s a casual acquaintance, it might prove awkward if things don’t work out and imagine having to constantly run into a scorned lover who lives next door or a rejected flame serving you coffee at the local beanery each day. Instead we’re supposed to expand our connections further outwards just in case things don’t workout.
I think, it’s sage advice in a way. I live still live three houses from one of my ex’s and I can’t say that when I heard said person was moving away that I didn’t silently breathe a sigh of relief. Finally the neighbourhood we’ll be all mine and I’ll no longer have to worry whether I look good when I go to the corner shop at 10:30 on a Wednesday night or feel compelled to walk out of my way to avoid walking past the ex’s place. I won’t make the same mistake twice, no ex-crement where I sleep next time.
I think that’s what I like best about online dating.
I’m not seeing the same old tired faces that I see everyday or every Saturday
night. I’m still meeting people close to home but it’s no longer
by chance and I can set the agenda right from the start rather than trying to
turn an acquaintance into a friend or a friend into a lover. I wish this had
been popular when I was in high school, I might not have had to avoid Amy for
the whole rest of senior year when she didn’t let me go to second base
after the prom…
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at May 11, 2005 5:49 PM
Comments
Yes, I also like the idea that I won't be bumping into that person every day. Unfortunately, hearts don't always cooperate. For months I see their faces on people at a distance. I guess that's just human nature....to look for the familiar. Maybe it's just my heart yearning for one last chance....
It's amazing but I had a bad prom also. You'd think someone like me wouldn't have really bad experiences...but I was young at some ancient point in my past...lol. My date ended up not liking the way I danced and we ended up parting ways that night. A year later she called me up on the phone wanting me to save her from her abusive husband...lol. He used to be the bully at school and everybody knew he was trouble, but she fell for his tall stature and aggressive attitude. In one of my more irritated moods I told her "You made your bed....lie in it!"
To the gals I say this: That cute nerdy guy may not be able to dance all that well but he'll never hit you, abuse you, or leave you crying. We know we're not that impressive, not so athletic, but we make up for it in intelligence and heart, and we're tremendously thankful when someone looks beyond the hype to see what lies beneath!
From your helpful hinter....
Posted by: hinter at May 20, 2005 8:55 AM
