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June 1, 2005
Trust: Given or earned?
What does it really take to build rust in a relationship? Do you trust from the start or is trust omething that has to be earned? I’m from the latter group. I think it has to be earned. It’s much too dangerous to go around trusting people you just meet, no matter how much you’d like to.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen so much bad stuff over the course of my years. All I know is that what I’ve experienced has it’s left its mark on my personality. Trust is everything in a relationship and I don’t think something like that should come easy.
Posted by CupidsReviews Doug at June 1, 2005 1:29 PM
What I have learned about trust...
Absolutely you must earn my trust.. but mostly we must learn to trust ourselves. Stop ignoring little red flags when they are slapping us in the face in the beginning of a relationship..the issues raising those flags almost always will be the issue(s) that kill the relationship in the end. LISTEN to the inner voice.. you will soon learn who is worthy of your trust and accept who is not.. NO MATTER HOW HOT THEY ARE..
Posted by: Shelley at June 1, 2005 5:22 PM
I was wondering if we every really trust after the first big love. Yes, I think trust is earned, slowly, through life's trials, but can we really ever know someone completely when we are blinded by the emotions of love and attachment? And, if we are threatened by the ghosts of relationship's past, then how possibly are we to open up to the living opportunities in the present? One of the more romantic notions is "love at first sight", a concept, as a cynic, I cannot advocate. However, I will say that to trust and love without reservations, without needing proof, has merit. Because to require a partner to jump hoops to win your trust seems the antithesis of the very concept we are looking for. I do think the greatest challenge is trusting ourselves. It is true there are warnings, there are signs, but we still carry a torch of blindness, love. I think in the end all you can do is put one foot in front of the other, and keep walking forward through the fire of uncertainty, through the cries of the ghost town, and if you hit a wall, take a detour to another path, but one that keeps your face towards the sun because to trust the instincts of your feet is to trust the truth in your heart. God, I hope so anyway...
Posted by: Anna Tenkku at June 2, 2005 11:09 AM
Anna:
A) Well said! B) I don't know how we can stop ghosts from crushing the goodness out of future relationships. I wish I did. I often wish I could go back tot he early years when puppy love was innocent and I walked with blinders on. I hope that love exists and I hope that we can all find it one day . . .
Shelley:
LMAO! "Listen - no matter how hot they are!" That's so goooood!
Posted by: Doug at June 2, 2005 12:05 PM
Quite right,It does not matter how hot they are.
I fell in Love with a married woman.I thought that She would love me forever.She proved me wrong by allowing me to see her act as a floosie.
So I got angry and dumped her.Non of us are perfect,but when we fall in love we expect the same in return.Bummed out but getting through it.
Posted by: Roo at July 31, 2007 9:10 PM
Hey Roo! Sorry to hear about your situation. There are people to party with and there are people to date. Methinks she falls into the first category. Best to leave those types be, at least if you get to the point where you fall in love with them! You don't deserve the heartache thaw will follow...
Best of luck!
Posted by: CupidsReviews Doug at August 1, 2007 9:55 AM
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