Cupids Dating Blog

I know people can make mistakes and that it is important to forgive. If I'm going to be honest, I'll even have admit that the times I've caught girlfriends cheating in relationships I didn't break things off right away. The times it has happened to me, I was with people that I, for my part, really loved. It's pretty well impossible to just cut yourself off from someone who you care about deeply, so I tried to fix things and forgive.

None of those relationships I tried to salvage survived, although they fell apart for different reasons and, in some cases, I suppose it was my fault. I find it hard to trust someone that has burned me once, and once the trust is gone it's all down hill from there. You can say you forgive someone, but it your are constantly suspicious of them and scrutinize everything they do for signs of betrayal then saying the words doesn't add up to much. I think being suspicious of someone that hurt you is natural, but if, after a while, you can't find a way to give them the benefit of the doubt again, then the relationship really can't last.

On the other hand, while it is possible that I could have made more of an effort to move past the issue, in my experience cheating in relationships speaks pretty badly about the character of the cheater. Maybe I only say this because it's happened to me, but you can't accidentally sleep with someone else. It takes a bit of intent and, unless you’re a rock star, it usually takes a little persuasion too. I just don't understand how someone can be so selfish as to hurt the people they care about by willfully betraying them. It demonstrates a lack of compassion that I find almost more disturbing than the fact of the betrayal.

I don't regret trying to salvage damaged relationships. You can't give up on the people you care about easily. On the other hand, I think I would have been better off if I'd just cut my losses and got back out into the dating scene.