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July 31, 2009
What To Do When You Have A Lesbian Girlfriend?
Anyone reading this may wonder why I would advertise the fact that I had a lesbian girlfriend. It's not exactly something that would seem to reflect positively on me, but that's why I think it's necessary to explain how a situation like this can turn out. Now, I have no idea where she found this girl she ended up being more than friends with, but I don't think it was on a gay dating site. If that were the case, I may have felt more offended because she knew she had a desire to be with other women and was actively seeking out lesbian relationships.
That wasn't how it happened, however. I should start by saying I had been dating this girl for almost three years. She was what you would call my high-school sweetheart and after about two and half years, I was sure we were soul mates. As far as I know, it all started when we both went off to different universities. We were always calling each other long distance, but I soon found we had nothing to talk about. Moreover, every single time I called she was with her best friend and usually cut off the conversation for any number of lame reasons. I was starting to read between the lines.
The situation came to a head when we both went back to our hometown and got together for Thanksgiving. Hoping for a romantic weekend up at my father's cottage to rekindle things, you can probably imagine my surprise when her "best friend" tagged along. Three is a crowd, especially when the third person is having a romantic relationship with your lesbian girlfriend! To make a long story short, the weekend turned out to be a three-day argument and we split up.
It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I had been dumped before and was no stranger to letting go of a relationship, but this was obviously different. I spent months full of anger, self-pity and shame. I burned her photos, threw out all her love letters and destroyed pretty much everything that reminded me of her. Having your heart broken is sometimes the price of love, but there is an added insult when the love of your life decides she doesn't like men at all anymore. Obviously, I blamed this all on myself.
Three years passed and I came across an old letter from her while cleaning out my closet. I hadn't thought about her in ages and rather than all those old negative feelings resurfacing, I felt the urge to contact her. It took a while for me to learn that her sexual reorientation wasn't my fault. We met for a drink and talked for hours. She's now one of my very best friends and I can honestly say I love her deeply. We can talk about pretty much everything. Sometimes people start out as best friends and it turns romantic, but in this case it was the other way around and it turned out to be one of my most rewarding friendships.
Posted by lucas at July 31, 2009 2:35 AM
