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June 15, 2011
Who's Surprised That I Got Dumped By A Rich Chick?
Not too long ago, I went through a bit of what we'll call a "quarter-life crisis." I like my job and it has tons of perks, but those supplement a fairly low wage that prevents me from making the most out of my social life. Meanwhile, everyone around me seems to be making more and more money. So upon this realization, cue what 40-somethings tend to do in my position: an urge to spend on expensive, frivolous products. But at my age, that's not doable unless you're dating a rich chick who likes spoil you. You'd think that would snap me out of my funk, but instead all it did was make me sign up to a bunch of millionaire dating sites in hopes of getting lucky.
I'll give you three guesses as to how well that went. You might be pleasantly surprised. I didn't strike out at all! Well, technically. First thing that happened was that I ran into a blonde bimbo who was looking for a sugar daddy. What nerve! That was my idea! Besides, if I'm busy looking for a rich chick to date, then I don't have the money to spend on her. Long story short, it was very awkward when the bill came.
Take two (no, I didn't learn from karma's lesson) saw me focusing my search specifically for rich women seeking young men. I felt a little sleazy here, because I ended up on a date with someone old enough to be my grandmother's grandmother. On a side-note, this should dispel the myth that older people can't operate the Internet. Back on track, the date mercilessly ended at 8:00pm so that she could be in bed before 9:00.
I had pretty much given up on trying to meet a rich and sexy woman, when I received a PM from just one such person. Her name is Sarah, she's drop-dead gorgeous and ridiculously fit. She made her first $1,000,000 by selling a bunch of gym franchises.
We went on one date and she immediately saw right through me. She somehow knew from my profile that I didn't come from money, but didn't care about that. Then she saw how fake I was being at dinner, which was a real turn-off for her. How turned off was she, you ask? Enough to go out with the waiter when his shift ended and before our date did.
So let this be yet another lesson in being yourself, ladies and gents. I say it all the time and look what happened to me when I didn't follow my own advice. Who knows? Maybe I'd be planning another date with a beautiful rich chick had I been more upfront.
Posted by brian at June 15, 2011 2:46 AM
