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May 13, 2007
Your favorite gay tease
You've seen 'em on the tv shows, you've heard them on the radio. They're called gay boyfriends, and they've been the platonic standbys for women for as long as anybody can remember. The gay best friend is almost stereotypical, and a quick glance at some of the TV shows in the best few years should indicate the typical features - effeminate, weirdly nonsexual guys and their sassy gal pals. However, I've witnessed a couple of platonic friendships like these fall apart, and it's usually because of one question - What if the feelings run deeper, at least as far the girl is concerned? Gay dating is pretty easy to do when you're another gay guy, but what about the hetero best friends who wind up being attracted to their sassy best friend? A gay tease can be awfully irritating when the expectations are raised.
A lot of gay guys prefer the friendly platonic company of people whom they're absolutely, positively not attracted to, and it's understandable. A little sexual tension can be fun and flattering, but when emotions like jealousy and unrequited affection are thrown in the mix, it makes for lousy friendships. Some gay gents can't or won't develop platonic relationships with other men for whatever reason, and they end up with a ton of non-sexual girlfriends. For most of these women, finding gay friends is no different than developing friendships with anybody else - the sexuality is generally a non issue, although I know plenty of girls who prefer the gayness because it's exciting and the gay guys they hang around are approximately a million times more entertaining than your average straight dude.
Sometimes there IS an attraction in these supposedly platonic relationships, and that can go a number of ways. In some cases both the guy and gal crank up the flirtation, and nature takes it's course - it would hardly be the first time that a gay man goes to bed with a woman. It's pretty rare when the guy gets "straightened out" and goes hetero however - these encounters are usually limited time only, and there are generally plenty of reasons why a gay guy considers himself gay.
But the worst case scenario is when the girl finds herself accidentally in love with man who can't give her what she needs. Unrequited love sucks no matter what the situation, although some comfort can be drawn from the fact that the guy is just not into women, PERIOD. It isn't a reflection of his attitude towards any specific women - his orientation just points in a different direction, and no amount of therapy or bible study is gonna change that fact.
For that matter, no amount of talk is gonna change the fact that women and gay friends go together like coffee and cream. Sometimes tension will boil up and sometimes it doesn't, but that should never deter anybody from seeking out friendships whether they're platonic or not.
Posted by Glen at May 13, 2007 2:55 AM
